Don’t Ditch the Classics: 4 Standard Sex Positions and Why They Rule

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By Scott Power

Classics don’t become classics by accident. They become classics because they’re among the best—because they’re tried, true and reliable.

This holds true for classic sex positions, for sure. They’re the standards, the foundations of sexual bliss that have been around for millennia. People have been enjoying them forever, because their ability to bring the pleasure is proven and perpetual.

And while there is certainly plenty to be said about trying new things and getting a little bit wild with the positions you and your partner try out and adopt as mainstays, it’s important to not forget about these several classic positions.

Here’s why.


1 – Missionary

Missionary is a great way to both start and end sex, and it’s probably the best position there is for engaging in eye contact, which can be one of the most arousing and intimate things you and your partner can engage in during sex. It’s also a great position for kissing while thrusting, if you’re coordinated enough. Additionally, if you’re the woman, missionary can give you a break while the guy does some of the work, and you can just lie back and concentrate on pure, unadulterated enjoyment.

2 – Cowgirl

If you think about it, cowgirl has a lot of the benefits of missionary. It’s great for eye contact and kissing, and it’s an opportunity for the man to take a break and lie back. (Additionally, many men tend to last longer and are able to delay orgasm for a bit if the woman is on top.) It also grants an amazing breast view, and easy access for breast and nipple stimulation.

3 – Doggie

Well, this one is admittedly not great for eye contact (unless you’re both facing a mirror, which, to be honest, takes things to a whole different level and is absolutely worth a shot). For women, the angle when a guy is behind you can result in deeper penetration in comparison with lots of other positions. And for guys? Well, it’s simple: you get to look at a beautiful butt. It’s also (arguable) the best position for hair-pulling, if that’s something you and your partner are into.

4 – Sixty-Nine

You should never forget about foreplay, and the Sixty-Nine position is great for oral and manual pleasure. It just makes sense. Why wouldn’t you want to get while you give, and give while you get? And Sixty-Nining isn’t just a great foreplay method. It’s also a great breather for you and your partner during a sex session—a nice interstitial between penetrative positions.

 

Don’t Ditch the Classics: 4 Standard Sex Positions and Why They Rule By Scott Power originally appeared on The Nightstand


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13 Incredibly Useful Tips Everyone With Sex Toys Should Know

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by Anna Borges

Takeaway: Scrub it before you buzz it.

Sex toys are awesome and an excellent addition to your sex life, both solo and with a partner.

But sex toys also become a lot less awesome if you don’t care for them properly.

Not washing your toy, using the wrong lube, or storing it incorrectly can all lead to problems, whether that’s a shorter life span or distortion of your toy or a risk of an infection for you. Which, no thanks. BuzzFeed Life talked to Claire Cavanah, co-founder of Babeland and co-author of Moregasm: Babeland’s Guide to Mind-Blowing Sex, for her best tips for keeping your sex toys safe, in good shape, and running as long as possible.

A quick note: Many sex toys come with cleaning instructions, so make sure to look out for anything unique to your toy that these tips might not cover.


1 – Wash your toys after every use

Yep, even if you’re only using it on yourself and not sharing with a partner. Toys that are washed every time last longer. If you don’t, the material can degrade or become discolored, says Cavanah. That, and if an unwashed toy is stored with other toys, it can contaminate them with bacteria.

2 – If you want to be really safe, wash your toys before every use, too.

“They can come in contact with lint, pet hair, or other bacteria while they’re stored and then if you insert them, that goes into your body,” says Cavanah. But if you store your toys correctly (which is covered later in this post), this is just a precaution you can choose to take.

3 – Choose the right soap.

Cavanah suggests using a mild, unscented hand or dish soap — and no need to go with the antibacterial option. “It might seem like a good precaution, but they can leave a residue,” she says.

If you want a more discreet option (like if you live with roommates and don’t want to haul your sex toys to the bathroom every time you use them), you can also go for a toy cleaner, like Before & After Toy Cleaner. “It’s a liquid formula that you spray on the toy and wipe off that neutralizes bacteria and won’t harm the material,” says Cavanah.

4 –  Don’t submerge any battery-operated toys in water to wash.

If your toy has batteries, plugs into the wall, or buzzes in any way, you have to take extra precautions. Wiping it down with a warm, soap washcloth is all you need to do.

5 – OK, now figure out what material your sex toy is.

Obviously, the world of sex toys is vast and varied, so this article is concentrating mostly on vibrators, dildos, plugs, beads…basically anything that can go inside you.

These toys come in a ton of different materials, but can be divided into two categories: porous and nonporous.

Nonporous toys are ones that can be safely shared because their surfaces are impenetrable by bacteria — common nonporous materials are glass, Pyrex, silicone, and stainless steel.

Porous toys, on the other hand, are made from materials like hard plastic, cyberskin, elastomer, jelly rubber, nylon, and neoprene, and are more absorbent.

No need to guess what material your toy is. It should say right on the package (or if you’ve already tossed that, on the manufacturer’s website).

6 -Here’s how to clean your nonporous toys.

Silicone: Wash with soap and water or place it in the top rack of your dishwasher. You can also put it in boiling water for 10 minutes to disinfect it.

Glass: Wash with soap and water, and don’t expose it to extreme temperatures (like in the dishwasher), to avoid warping.

Pyrex: Pyrex is basically heat-resistant glass, so it can be boiled, put in the dishwasher, or washed by hand.

Stainless steel: Boil for 10 minutes, soak in bleach and water (then make sure to RINSE THOROUGHLY), or wash in the dishwasher.

7 – Here’s how to clean your porous toys.

Porous materials are more sensitive to temperature and prone to warping, so most should be washed the same way: with soap and warm water, either in the sink or with a soapy washcloth. Nylon toys are the exception, which can be machine washed.

Again, porous materials are hard plastic, cyberskin, nylon, neoprene, jelly rubber, vinyl and soft vinyl, acrylic, elastomer, and leather.

8 – Make sure you’re using the right lube.

Don’t use silicone- or oil-based lubes with silicone toys, says Cavanah, because it will stick to the material and break down the surface of your toy. Go with water-based or hybrid lube instead — but still always make sure to wash it off afterward (but you’re already doing that anyway, right?)

9 – Use a condom with your porous toys.

Some porous toys can’t be completely disinfected, so you should always use a condom when using it with a partner, says Cavanah. If you’re only using your toy on yourself, you should be fine as long as you wash it after every use.

10 – Always check to make sure your waterproof vibrators are still safe to use.

If the little rubber plug or O-ring that covers the battery compartment of your toy is missing, loose, or broken, no more shower fun for you. Sorry! That thing is no longer waterproof.

11 – Look out for any irregularities that might signal it’s time to throw out your toy.

Sadly, even the best sex toys don’t last forever. “If the motor gets louder, it’s a sign that the toy is getting to the end or if the charge isn’t lasting as long,” says Cavanah. Also look out for seams coming apart or pockmarks in your silicone toys, since that means it’s no longer nonporous. RIP.

12 – Don’t just toss them in your bedside drawer and call it a day.

Who knows what dust, food crumbs, and other junk is lurking in there? Cavanah suggests storing your toys wrapped in cloth or in a cloth bag (luckily, many toys come with their own dust bags, so don’t throw them out). Once you do that, your drawer is totally fine (and definitely preferable to somewhere like under your bed, says Cavanah).

You do want to avoid using Tupperware or plastic bags, though. “Chemicals can leach into the toy over an extended period of time,” she says.

13 – Take the batteries out of your vibrator when you’re not using it.

Leaving the batteries in can actually corrode the toy and drain the battery life, since they’re conducting at a low charge when in the toy. And there’s nothing sadder than the halfhearted buzz of a vibrator on low batteries.

Happy (and safe) sex toy adventures, everyone!

 

13 Incredibly Useful Tips Everyone With Sex Toys Should Know by Anna Borges was originally published on BuzzFeed.


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7 Things to Know About Couples’ Vibrators

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by Anna Lynn

Takeaway: Intercourse often doesn’t lead to orgasm for women. That’s where couples’ vibes come in.

You’ve probably heard some variation of this sad statistic: Only 25 percent of women consistently orgasm during vaginal intercourse.

Let’s put that out there again: Only one in four women reliably experience orgasm during vaginal intercourse, regardless of partner’s penis size, or how long the sex lasts, or even how a woman feels about her partner. And this isn’t according to just one study either; the figure comes from a comprehensive analysis of 33 studies over the past 80 years, which was conducted by Elisabeth Lloyd for “The Case of the Female Orgasm.”

Yikes.

But while that may go against what many of us were raised to believe about partnered, heterosexual intercourse, those who have a firm grasp of female anatomy and sexual function understand full well what it takes to get a girl off. According to experts, clitoral stimulation is what the vast majority of women need to push them over the edge.

Of course, intercourse isn’t the only kind of sex out there. Hands and mouths are both great for pleasing female bodies. So, of course, are vibrators. And that’s where a relatively new breed of vibrator comes in: couples’ vibes. They are designed to make intercourse explosively pleasurable for both partners. Because when it comes to skin-on-skin contact and intimacy, intercourse definitely has a few fun perks. Here are seven things to know about these unique toys.


They Come in Many Shapes, Sizes and Types

A lot of vibrators are great for couples’ play. You can add a wand vibrator, or a simple clitoral vibrator during partner play, or even during intercourse as long as you’re in a position to fit it between you and your partner.

The vibes we often refer to as couples’ vibes, however, are designed to be worn during intercourse for both partners’ pleasure. Although vibrating cock rings fit into this category (and many couples love them!), the main contenders here are c-shaped, wearable couples’ vibes like the We-Vibe Sync and LELO Tiani, among others. This type of vibe is designed to be worn inside a woman’s body, with one arm extending out to reach the clitoris. What this means is that not only can these vibrators be worn hands-free during intercourse, but that the male partner gets a buzz (in addition to a tighter fit).

They’re Designed to Hit the Clit

Couples’ vibrators are popular because they’re designed to stimulate the clitoris, which is just what many women need to be truly (and consistently) orgasmic during partnered intercourse. For many women, these toys can be a game-changer. The clitoris has at least 8,000 sensory nerve endings and is believed to extend deep into the pelvic area. It’s the queen of the orgasmic castle.

They Encourage Communication

Couples’ vibes are fairly easy to use, but because they provide some new sensations or challenges, ensuring that using one is pleasurable for both partners requires some communication.

Positioning the device, your partner and finding the right vibration setting will all take some experimentation. If you’re doing it right, you’ll probably chat, giggle and have fun with a few failed attempts. But isn’t that what great sex is all about?

They Aren’t Just for Women’s Pleasure

With all the vibrating toys available for women, it’s easy to assume that penises just don’t respond to vibration. That isn’t the case.

Many men enjoy vibration against the head of the penis, scrotum or shaft. In fact, research on vibrator use has found that almost half of men have tried a vibrator at least once. They’re even used to help men with sexual dysfunction. In other words, for many men, vibration can feel amaaazing! A couples’ vibrator provides a pleasurable buzz to the head of a man’s penis while it’s inserted. For some men, this will provide an additional (and unique) sensation to intercourse.

They’re Also Fun for One

Just because they’re marketed as couples’ vibes doesn’t mean you can’t use one solo. In fact, because of the way they fit into and against the body, a couples’ vibe can provide a hands-free orgasm. Most of the latest couples’ vibes are remote controlled; just use the remote to control the vibration setting and intensity, lay back, and enjoy the ride!

They’re Great for Foreplay

Thanks to the remote control that comes standard with most couples’ vibes today, the wearer can enjoy a discreet and sexy buzz from her partner from across a room. When it comes to titillating foreplay, this is about as good as it gets. For an extra thrill, try it in public.

They Make a Sexy Gift

If you’re looking to spice things up with a partner, a sex toy can make a great gift. Couples’ vibes offer pleasure to both partners, which makes them an excellent choice. But unlike jewelry, it’ll have both partners purring with pleasure.

As a relatively new type of vibrator, couples’ vibes offer a great option for couples who want to take intercourse to a whole new level. They’re fun, they’re unique and they’re sexy. Sounds like a recipe for a spicier sex life.

 

7 Things to Know About Couples’ Vibrators by Anna Lynn was originally published on Kinkly.


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Best Sex Toys to Take on a Couple’s Trip

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PHOTO: STOCKSY

 

by Emily Morse

The key to finding sex toys you can travel with is to look for products that are discreet.

All of the products mentioned here can easily slip into a bag, making them a breeze to travel with. Most importantly, you won’t have to worry about getting flagged down at the airport so TSA can inspect that suspicious-looking dildo in your carry-on. And despite being small, these toys pack a powerful punch that will definitely make for a vacation you’ll never forget.

So, without further ado, here is a list of Dr. Emily Morse’s favorite toys that you can travel with:


1 – The We-vibe Touch or Tango

Both of these toys are clitoral vibrators, but you can use them just about anywhere and it’ll feel amazing. The Tango is a strong little bullet, and the Touch is a vibe that contours to your hand. We-Vibe toys aren’t the least bit intimidating and are great as a gateway to exploring other toys in the bedroom. Both the Touch and the Tango can be a sexy way to tease your partner (male or female) during foreplay, and using it on your partner is the perfect way to warm him up to using it on you.

2 – G-ring by FT London

You wouldn’t even know that this little vibe was there if it weren’t for the incredible vibrations it gives off. You can wear the G-ring on your finger like a ring, and you can use it just about anywhere on the body for some seriously O-worthy pleasure. This is truly a subtly designed vibrator that you can take with you wherever you go. I actually have one in my purse right now!

3 – Fleshlight Quickshot 

The Quickshot is a go-to when it comes to a travel toy for him, and it will definitely help get your toy-cautious partner on board with trying new devices in bed. This toy is the number-one bestseller for guys, and he’ll feel like he’s getting a mind-blowing hand job without the actual hand.

4 – The Sportsheets Sex Sling

This innovative little strap can transform your basic missionary position. It helps keep your legs elevated perfectly. Best of all? It’s made of up of simple nylon straps that you can fold up and stick in your suitcase or purse pocket.

5 – JO Gelato Flavored Lube

This delicious water-based lube adds a tasty treat to your foreplay. All you need is one small (and discreet) bottle to cover everything from anal to intercourse.

These toys are some of my favorites and are great for dipping your toes into the pool of pleasure products. Plus, the G-ring, Touch, and Tango are rechargeable and waterproof, so don’t be afraid to get wet and wild in the shower, hot tub, or pool.

What Are the Best Sex Toys to Take on a Couple’s Trip? by Emily Morse originally appeared on Glamour.

 


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7 Sex Positions for Summer When It’s Honestly Too Hot To Touch Another Human Body

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Summer can be the absolute worst for having sex. It’s hot, it’s sticky, and getting all close with another human can seem like the worst idea ever. Even if they’re sexy as hell, and you’re in the mood. But with a little creativity, there are lots of sex positions for summer that minimize body contact. So you can get your freak on without just wanting to push your partner away in a bout of sweaty, summer irritability.

Most of these positions are assuming that you don’t have a private pool or lake area to bone in, because if you do, you should take full advantage of that. No excuses. Just be careful and remember that water can rinse off your natural lubrication, so use a silicon-based lube for to stay wet and safe. Also make sure the AC is on full blast.

If you don’t have a pool, here are some simple summer sex positions, because really, who can do acrobatics in this heat?

1 – Doggy style.

Whether you’re going for penetration or oral, doing it from behind is the way to go. To minimize body contact, and get a good angle for penetration, get on all fours, and let your partner get at it. Adding a Doggie Style Strap can help with leverage.

2 – Shower sex.

Alright, shower sex can be controversial, since most of us don’t have Hollywood-style luxury showers, so there’s not a lot of room. But here’s the thing: Don’t have shower sex when someone is actually showering. After you come in from a long sweaty walk, turn on the water to cool (not freezing, unless you’re into that) and have standing sex in the shower. Just don’t slip. Check out the Sex in the Shower collection for some items like foot rests and handles to add to your safety and fun.

3 – Masturbate with each other.

If you are seriously that cranky and sweaty that you need to get way more turned on before you can make physical contact, just do you. Masturbating at the same time can be really hot, though it takes a certain level of confidence for some people. It’s also a good way to break the ice about showing your partner your favorite vibrator techniques to use in the future.

4 – A classic 69.

They call things classics for a reason. 69-ing is possibly the best summer sex position, because you don’t have to touch anything other than the area you’re working with. And someone is giving you oral, which is one of the better things this life on earth has to give us. To minimize the “work” part of this (and thus, lower your heart rate and body temp), you should both lay on your sides and go to town.

5 – Get sideways.

Some people call this the “Linguini,” which is fitting because in the middle of August, you basically feel like soggy pasta anyway. Lie on your side and have your partner (or you, if you like the top) get behind on one knee, for a better angle and support. Roll up on one of your butt cheeks and let your partner penetrate you with their penis, a dildo, or just rub up on each other in a sort of modified scissor. The idea is that you don’t have to rub up on any other body part here.

6 – Find the *right* spot.

If you can, try to sit on a cool countertop or the washing machine (it can be on or off, BTW). Your partner should stand and penetrate you or go down. Sure, they’re working hard. But you have a cool surface under your ass to regulate your body temp. And maybe next time, you can switch roles.

7 – Woman on top.

Sometimes climbing on top of the other person is the way to minimize getting all gross and sweaty. You can sit on top of your partner, and do whatever it is you like to do. If you have trouble being in control of the movement, try a “reverse cowgirl” (you just sit on a male partner backwards) in a chair, couch, or edge of the bed. That way, he can guide you a little bit until you guys find the right rhythm.

At the end of the day, summer sex is going to be a lot like sex any other time of year. Just sweatier.

7 sex positions for summer when it’s honestly too hot to touch another human body by Karen Fratti was originally posted on Hello Giggles.


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How A Sex Menu Could Help In The Bedroom

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The simple trick that could help you have amazing sex.

All you need is a pen and paper!

Writhing about naked, covered in sweat: sex is one of the most uninhibited things you can do with another person. So it’s sort of odd that a lot of us are so terrible at talking about it.

And whether a relationship is in those heady stages when you fumble around trying to work out what marks “ooh that’s nice” from “er, please don’t do that”, or together for so long that you think you know their body better than Google Maps knows our planet, it can be tough to express exactly what you want.

Enter the sex menu.

This is list of what a person loves, hates, and would be up for trying during foreplay and sex. The depth that this goes in to depends on the person. Yes, this sounds cringe-worthy, but so is sex and that is why we are in this mess in the first place. And judging by a recent study by relationship charity Relate – which found that less than half of people are satisfied with their sex life, and 51 per cent had not had sex in the last month – a lot of us could do with some help in the bedroom.

Sex expert Dr Stephen de Wit suggests taking twenty minutes to be completely open with yourself, and run down his detailed list of turn-ons and positions, from holding hands to bondage, cross-dressing and caning, and marking ‘yes’ or ‘no’. To refine the list further, the answers can be ranked from one to five for willingness, with a section for notes explaining any concerns, fears or specific requests.

This simple exercise enables a person to build awareness about their body, and to take the time to consider what they enjoy, and how best to share this information with future partners.

“Do not judge others” he adds on his website. “There will be things on the list that turn you on tremendously and some that you’ll say ‘Oh Hells No’ or think something is gross. That is perfectly ok that you are not comfortable with it at this time of your life and it may be something that turns someone else on.”

Sex menus also avoid goal-oriented sex, where orgasms rather than pleasure, experimentation and exploration are the focus.

Peter Saddington, a sex therapist in the Midlands who works for the relationships charity Relate and is a chair of the College of Sexual Relation and Therapy, told The Independent that sex menus can certainly be a useful tool.

“Consistently people assume when they get together and they are sexual they develop a way to work and stick with it and don’t experiment. Sex is still a strange subject. There is pressure to think that people are having lots of great sex and that you need to do the same, but that is not the case for lots of couples”

Saddington goes on to argue that a lack of understanding when it comes to sex starts from a young age. “Sex isn’t talked about successfully by parents talking to kids or in schools. There is a general lack of knowledge and understanding about it as a subject.” As such, people can feel embarrassed and pressured into having sex they don’t fully enjoy.

An alternative to a sex menu is a three circle exercise, adds Saddington, where a person lays out what they are OK with, what they are no OK with, but also what they are happy have to give but not receive and visa versa.

But he stresses that while a sex menu is a good guide, it should still be perceived as flexible.

“How and whether you want to have sex is affected by that day and the relationship. There are questions you need to consider each time you are being sexual. Just because something worked last time, it doesn’t mean a person wants it a second time.”

For couples with clashing lists, Saddington suggests discussing the actions. “This can help ensure you are talking about the same thing, and see if the partner is willing to explore or meet half way.”

From there, try exploring verbally and physically but be sure to stop if something is uncomfortable.

How A Sex Menu Could Help In The Bedroom by Kashmira Gander was originally published on The Independent


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11 Ways for Your Partner (and You) to Get Really, Really Good at Sex

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Hopefully you come away satisfied pretty much every time you have sex. But that doesn’t mean there isn’t room for improvement—for you and your partner.

“It’s always possible to get better at sex,” says New York City sex therapist Ian Kerner, Ph.D., author of She Comes First. “You can always get more in tune with your own process of sexual arousal, as well as your partner’s, and always fine-tune/enhance the stimulation and orgasm, much of which comes through knowing yourself and knowing each other.”

Jessica O’Reilly, Astroglide’s resident sex and relationship expert, agrees: “I’m a sexologist, and I know I could be much better in bed.”

Here are a few ways to take your sex up a notch:


FOR YOUR PARTNER

  1. Work the spare parts:

“Don’t forget the perineum, testicles, and mons pubis (that padded area right above the genitals),” says licensed marriage and sex therapist Kat Van Kirk, Ph.D. She recommends tickling, fondling, and sucking the areas, both during foreplay and sex, to show how creative you are.

  1. Bust out a sex toy:

Sometimes we all need an extra hand to ramp things up, which is why Van Kirk recommends keeping a favorite sex toy handy. “Using a good sex toy, you can keep things spontaneous, avoid hand/wrist fatigue, and ensure that everyone ‘gets there,’” she says.

  1. Lube, lube, lube:

“The things you can do with lube will change your life,” says O’Reilly. Her best lube move: Use two hands (fingers interlaced) and a generous serving of lube to create a tight, wet grip for an epic hand job. “The couples I work with say this simple hand job technique is so good, it could put an end to blow jobs,” she says.

  1. Tease the anal area:

There’s a big difference between anal sex (which isn’t for everyone) and anal play (which can feel risqué but still within many people’s comfort zones). Kerner recommends grazing your partner’s anal area with your fingers or lips, especially during oral. “There are lots of nerve endings, and it’s also a taboo area for many guys,” he says. Van Kirk agrees: “Many men and women enjoy a little finger play during sex. It ups the ante.” Make sure to always add a little lubricant when exploring this area, as the anal area does not self lubricate.

  1. Double up on sensations:

Try stimulating two areas at once. For example, Kerner says you can squeeze your partner’s nipple while giving manual or oral stimulation to hit several erogenous zones at once.

FOR YOU

  1. Don’t be afraid to fantasize:

Kerner points out that there’s nothing wrong with fantasizing while you’re having sex—and it can really blow your mind. Plus, “it helps stress centers deactivate, which is important for arousal process,” he says.

  1. Take things into your own hands:

The clitoris is the gateway to orgasm for most women, so Kerner recommends either guiding your partner to yours or stimulating it yourself if you’re not getting what you need.

  1. Get noisy:

Not only is noisy sex hot, there’s a biological aspect of it that makes sex even better, O’Reilly says. “Holding back/muffling your sounds impedes natural breathing patterns, which can hinder orgasmic response,” she says. Moaning, groaning, and breathing heavily, on the other hand, helps move things along.

  1. Clear your head:

It sounds obvious that you should be in the moment when you’re having sex, but Van Kirk notes that it’s an issue for a lot of women. “Being stuck in your head, worried about how you look during sex or what you need to do when you’re done, never improves sex,” she points out. Instead, zero in on the sensations you’re feeling and ride them out.

  1. Masturbate more:

“Most women don’t self stimulate enough,” says Van Kirk. “This can result in orgasm issues related to a lack of self awareness about what stimulation works best for them.” Plus, she points out, women who masturbate more tend to have higher self esteems and more confidence in the bedroom. And, of course, when you know what works for you during a solo session, it’s more easy to get what you need with partner sex.

  1. Talk it out:

While there are a lot of moves you can try, Kerner says talking about sex, communicating during sex, and sharing fantasies really is the best way to have next-level sex. “When people think back on the best sex they ever had, there’s often an aspect of novelty or psychological stimulation,” he says.

 

11 Ways for Your Partner (and You) to Get Really, Really Good at Sex By Korin Miller was originally published on Glamour


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