A Guide to Shower Sex

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I found this gem on the System JO blog, and thought it had some great tips and ideas. Plus, they go along well with our Sex In The Shower items, don’t you think?

The guided tour of shower sex is necessary in life because we all know how quickly something crazy hot can become tricky and even possibly awkward.

Wet surfaces do not provide traction and small space constraints lead to limited movement opportunities. The argument in favor of shower sex stands on slippery ground, with the many pitfalls ranging from falling sprays of water (in your eyes, up your nose) to actually falling on the floor. The key to sexy time is avoiding a situation requiring medical attention.

Steamy shower sex does sound extremely fun and spontaneous, evoking romantic images of erotic stroking and satisfying each other amidst the warm mist. You just jump on into the tub. No, okay, climb in carefully, but, ya know, sexy carefully. Now pull the shower curtain into place (remembering it is NOT a solid surface to be used as a gripping tool later) and adjust the showerhead so that it doesn’t hit either of you directly in the face. Whew, initial bullets dodged.

You start touching the other person’s soapy, wet, naked body…and…hmmm, now what? Turn around? Flatten your body against cold tiles? Hold on to what exactly for leverage…each other? Ow! An elbow in the face! (The Locking Suction Handle can help out with this!) Ugh! Where does my foot go?  (This is where the Foot Rest comes in handy!) The reality is that sex in the shower is often a complicated balancing act between partners who are willing to work for great, wet sex.

One of you is in the direct line of warm water, while the other is left out in the cold. Or maybe you are those lucky people who have a dual showerhead, waterfall rain showers everywhere. If not, remember to rotate! Trading places allows for a reduction in the amount of shivering skin time.

Also, this is not the moment for an epic display. Limit the minutes allotted for shower sex – wrinkled fingertips feel like being petted with dried fruit, a sure sign that you have stayed at too long at the party.

Logistical issues aside, sex in the shower breeds intimacy and orgasms, so it’s obviously a worthwhile effort. Just don’t forget that stability is what you want most in the chosen position! Feet planted firmly on the ground for both participants, doggy style gets our safest of the shower sex positions rating. You can use the high ground, palms placed flat against the wall, or face downwards and use hands to hold on to the edges of the tub. If you don’t have an old school tub-style shower, hold on to the hips in front of you for better support.

Facing each other is nice too, so try holding on to one knee with either your hand, or just balance in the crook of your elbow. You can also wrap one leg around the waist, and if superhero strength is at play, wrap both those legs around and prepare for some serious splashing. Do not use the edge of the tub for leverage! It will be slick and unreliable. Do not lean against a glass shower door! It can easily give way with applied human pressure. Lastly, do not feel confident that the ceramic soap dish jutting out of the wall can handle any weight beyond that of soap.

A final note is that water washes away both natural and certain synthetic lubrication, so you may want to switch over to silicone as opposed to water-based formulas. Condoms do not work so well in the water either, they tend to slip and slide…so prep in advance for contraception needs.


 

Ready to play?

Did you find yourself fantasizing or flexing your pelvic orgasm muscle as you learned about the ideas mentioned above? No time like the present!

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Here’s How Long Sex Lasts Around the World

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Some fun, international facts, as shared by Glamour Smitten

Have you ever wondered whether the amount of time you spend having sex is normal? It might seem impossible to know how long exactly other people are spending on sex, since it’s not like couples take stopwatches into the bedroom. But, for one study, couples did just that.

According to an article in The Conversation by Brendan Zietsch, Ph.D., a research fellow at the University of Queensland, the best study we have to date of the time it takes to have sex involved 500 couples in five different countries timing themselves with stopwatches.

It turns out the average time it takes to have sex—not including foreplay, but just measuring the time from insertion to ejaculation—is 5.4 minutes on average in the Netherlands, United Kingdom, Spain, Turkey, and the United States. The Turkish had less endurance than the rest of the world, with a 3.7-minute average, while the rest were in the six to seven-minute range. Younger men lasted longer, with an average of 6.5 minutes for 18-to-30-year-olds (men 51 and older lasted 4.3 minutes).

Contrary to what some may say about the desensitizing effects of condoms, they didn’t have an impact on how long sex lasted. Circumcision didn’t have an influence either, with a pretty non-significant difference of six minutes for uncircumcised men and 6.7 for circumcised ones.

Of course these are averages—plenty of people around the world are having longer and shorter bedroom romps. But, if you’ve been wondering if your six-minute sack sessions are the norm, know this: They totally are.

How To Orgasm With A Partner (Because Sex Can Be Complicated)

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This was originally posted on Bustle, and I liked most of the info included. As usual, I added my own spin on some things, and included links to products I think you’ll like.


 

For a lot of women, the question of whether they’ll be able to have an orgasm during sex is fraught with anxiety. We’re taught from a young age — both on TV and movies, as well as and in porn — that our pleasure will come from a male partner who will put his magic penis inside of us, and we’ll be able to come without any foreplay or clitoral stimulation at all.

Talk about total crap, am I right?

But why would anyone think differently about our orgasms? We don’t talk about self-pleasure with our friends, and we really don’t get any guidance around getting off from adults either. Is it any wonder that only a third of women regularly experience an orgasm during intercourse, and that as many as 10 percent might not even orgasm at all?

However, more and more women are discovering how to orgasm on their own. Our culture is shifting in a positive direction, so that adult women, at least, are feeling empowered to take their orgasms into their own hands. We’ve got sex-positive, female-run sex shops like ours. A million different types of toys exist to help us get there, many of which are designed by and for women (like the Rave by We-Vibe or a simple bullet-style vibe like Vooom!). And we have sites that are yelling to the mountaintops about sex-positivity and pleasure. We still have a long way to go, but it’s hard to deny that we’re entering a golden age of female pleasure.

But how do you translate that solo orgasm into a partnered orgasm? This is the spot where a lot of women get stuck. Suddenly there’s another person involved in the process, and things get a whole lot more complicated than when it was just you and your vibe at home. Maybe you’re shy about speaking up for yourself or you’re not sure if they’ll be down to do what you need done. Whatever the reason, here are nine tips to help you make sure you come, too.

 

  1. Don’t Be Scared To Fantasize

When you’re enjoying self-pleasure, you’re probably watching or reading something that turns you on, or at least thinking about something sexy. There’s no reason you can’t do that with a partner as well. The key to this one is to try different stimuli during your alone time. You’ll stumble onto something that consistently works and that’s the fantasy you should turn to when you’re having trouble getting into it or you just can’t come.

  1. Be Willing To Focus On Your Own Pleasure

Women are conditioned to be more concerned about the needs of others — especially men — than our own needs. (Thanks, patriarchy!)

But a lot of us need some very specific touch, thoughts, words, or whatever, to get off. Dan Savage is fond of saying that if a man needed a canoe and a nun in the room in order to have an orgasm, you can bet they would be there even during a one-night stand. Figure out what your nun and canoe are, and insist on them! If you need direct clitoral stimulation (as most of do), then ask your partner to stimulate it or stimulate it yourself!

Your pleasure is as important as the pleasure of the person you’re with and you’re the only one who is in charge of it. Do you, boo.

  1. Have Your Partner Watch

If your partner just isn’t hitting the right spots, have them watch while you get yourself off. They can masturbate too while you’re doing it, because, well, who wouldn’t find that hot? They’ll learn exactly what kind of touch works for you and what doesn’t because they’ll actually see it.

  1. Self-Stimulate

On a similar note, don’t be scared to self-stimulate during partnered sex. As I mentioned above, most women need direct clitoral stimulation in order to get off — penis in the vagina alone (for those of you doing it with dudes) just doesn’t cut it for most of us. Reach down there and give yourself a little boost!

  1. Do It Sober

Having drunk sex can dull your nerves and your connection with your body. If you find you’re always banging under the influence, consider switching it up and going at it sober sometime. This is a double-edged sword, of course, because one of the reasons we drink is to get rid of inhibitions, and fewer inhibitions often translates to being more willing to have sex. However, if your goal is orgasming, and drunk sex is not ending in orgasm, then sobering up could seriously be your solution.

  1. Do It Tipsy

On the other hand, if you’re having trouble letting go of your inhibitions, and that’s keeping you from orgasm, have a couple glasses of wine! Don’t get blotto drunk (because: see above), but a drink or two will get your blood flowing, and might help lower your inhibitions to the point where you’re able to let go enough to get there.

  1. Do What Works

A lot of women have one position that works for them. Don’t be scared to do it, even if it means you always end in that position! If it works, it works, and your partner should be down with a little repetition if it means you end with big O.

  1. Turn Off The Lights

Some women are self-conscious about their bodies, and find that their worries about how they look are keeping them from being in the moment. (Thanks again, patriarchy!)

A great solution for this problem in the short term is to turn off the lights! It also heightens your other senses, so even if you’re totally cool with how your naked body looks, it can be great way to up sensation.

In the long term, though, it’s time to get body-positive.

  1. Let Go

Sometimes it takes a mantra in your head: Let go, let go, let go. Give yourself permission, and you’ll get there.


Ready to play?

Did you find yourself fantasizing or flexing your pelvic orgasm muscle as you learned about the ideas mentioned above? No time like the present!

Save 10% on anything you want using coupon: BcBlog10 on BodyCandyRomanticTreats.com

9 Clever Ways To Introduce Sex Toys Without Damaging Your Man’s Ego

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Originally posted on Tickle Kitty

Men love their action figures, their video games and their power tools, but they can be totally iffy about toys of the sexual variety.

As silly as it may sound, sex toys are sometimes threatening to men. Men want to feel capable and needed by their women, so if toys are spontaneously brought into the bedroom, and/or used on the regular, it could give off the wrong impressions. Best thing to do is get him in on the fun.

So if you want your man to put away his video games and power tools (don’t worry he can finish your honey-do list and save the Mushroom Kingdom later) and spend more time playing with sex toys, we recommend considering these 9 tips:

  1. Be size wise.

Look, bringing a dildo or vibrator into the bedroom can already be awkward enough as it is. Men usually have a complex about having other dicks in the vicinity of their naked girlfriend, even if they aren’t real – especially if it’s more endowed than him! So your best bet is to choose a toy that’s smaller than him, and gradually move up in size over time.

A great just-getting-started small vibe like the Callie is perfect as it’s only 3 inches total. Or consider something totally non-phallic and non-intimidating like My Secret Vibrating Lipstick. You can invite him to paint your lips!

  1. Try going gender neutral.

Choose a ‘unisex’ style toy – that can be used for the both of your pleasures. The Bodywand is a great example of this. It’s so powerful and can be used all over both of your bodies: from butt massage, to nipple play – and everything in between. Or perhaps try the Sqweel GO!, which is also used topically on your erogenous zones, and is meant to imitate the act of being licked. Who wouldn’t want a tongue bath?

  1. Go for a couples toy.

There are many toys specially designed to give you both please, simultaneously. This angle of introduction will help even the playing field. The APEX Vibrating Penis Ring is a great option – it provides longer, harder erections for him, while offering those OMG! vibrations on your clitoris. You may even be able to orgasm at the same time!

Or, you can’t go wrong with the bestselling couples We-Vibe 4 Plus for APP-controlled flirty fun. Not only will he be able to control your orgasm from anywhere in the world, but it will also kind of feel like he is playing a sexy video game, because he gets to use the remote control. This will ensure that he’ll be having almost as much fun as you are.

  1. Try a subtle surprise.

In your cunning, cat-like way, surprise him softly with a small, harmless Classic Silver Bullet while giving him oral love. When you’ve got him by the balls, a guy will say yes to almost anything (please don’t use this for evil purposes).

Simply hide it under the pillow beforehand and slip it out with your free hand at the right moment and let him feel the vibrational pleasures at the base of his penis or on his balls while you continue your loving. You not hear a thing out of his mouth but stronger, louder, panting!

  1. Give him a show!

With a new vibe as your sidekick, use it on yourself, and let him sit back, watch and enjoy. Everyone knows almost every man loves to watch a woman masturbate. So play it up for him and see what he does next… Consider the Hello Touch for this amazing show, which is a non-intimidating toy that turns your fingertips into mini-vibrators. The best part is you can slip them onto him next and let his fingers do the walking!

  1. Make it all about his pleasure, first.

Prepare a little treasure trove of men’s playthings for him including a RingO PRO Silicone Penis Ring, Mood Powerball, and Apollo Automatic Head Pump – and you’ll be set. Let him lay back and enjoy the all the pleasures coming his way. If he’s a good sport, he’ll happily return the favors.

  1. Show him porn you like.

We’re fairly certain your man would be amped at the idea of watching porn with his lady. I mean, it’s pretty much every man’s dream (yes, most of our dreams are sexually charged).

This in turn leaves an excellent opportunity to introduce the world of sex toys to him, in a comfortable and familiar setting — a setting where he may even feel right at home in. Let’s be real, he’s probably been watching the stuff since he was 13.

So find a video that you enjoy, where they use toys like the kind you want to try such as the Booty Vibro Kit or the G-Gasm Dual Stimulator. As you both enjoy the show, tell him you want to experiment with said toy(s). Maybe put on the cute and sexy voice you sometimes use to make him weak. You know, the one you use to get him to put on deodorant or take out the garbage. Then ask him if he’d play toys with you. He may then be interested, so it’s be a good idea to have one handy!

  1. Make a sexy trade.

If the above methods don’t work, or you don’t want to encourage his porn addiction, you can always make a pleasure trade for something he wants (just to warn you: if we know anything about men — it will probably be anal – however never do anything unless YOU are comfortable with it). Whatever the pleasure trade may be, wouldn’t that trade be oh, so worth it if it meant you could bring something like the Womanizer Deluxe into the bedroom?

He’ll be so stoked about getting his wish, he won’t even think twice about any uncertainty he may have about using toys.

  1. Reassure him with good communication.

Feel free to express how much you would like to explore toys, already enjoy them, or would like to them enjoy them with him – and how super hot they get you. But also tell him how much you enjoy sex without the toys. Explain to him that you like to experiment and would enjoy exploring both forms of sex (with and without toys). It’s never a matter of him being “replaced” (which is impossible to do!), but rather being open to enhancing your sexual experiences together with the world of sex toys right at your fingertips.

He’s still on the fence? Then start easy with We’ve Never… But We Will! couple’s foreplay game – you can’t go wrong there!

Ready to play?

Did you find yourself fantasizing or flexing your pelvic orgasm muscle as you learned about the amazing toys mentioned above? No time like the present!

Save 10% on anything you want using coupon: BcBlog10 on BodyCandyRomanticTreats.com

The Most Popular Places To Have Sex (and the Bedroom Isn’t One Of Them)

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Originally posted on Women’s Health.

Every sex therapist I talk to—and I’ve talked to a lot of them during my time as an editor at Women’s Health—has told me that the key to keeping your sex life hot as hell is novelty.

Whether that means trying new moves in bed, different foreplay techniques, or uncharted locations, something new is guaranteed to leave you and your partner lusting for one another for years to come (or at least the duration of your relationship).

And, according to a new survey, many millenials are already hip to the whole novelty trick.

The survey, by Skyn Condoms, found that 78 percent of the 18 to 34 crowd are spicing things up by getting down in their living rooms. Yup, that couch you and your squad watched The Bachelor on last week was probably involved. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

To be fair, getting off the couch after a Netflix marathon is pretty hard. We get it.

Other hot locations for getting it in outside the bedroom included:

  • The shower (74 percent said they like to get clean while doing the dirty)
  • The car
  • The laundry room (um, hey, humming dryer)
  • The great outdoors
  • The beach. (We’re assuming the beach came in dead last because sand in all the wrong places is not so fun—and it’s also pretty filthy.)

How to Travel With Sex Toys

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Originally posted on Glamour

It’s summer, which means that everyone’s working out their traveling plans. With all the stress-inducing logistics of getting from the airport to your destination, I think it’s only fair that you deserve to be having as much fun as legally possible. And we all know that one of the best parts of every vacation is vacation sex! So why not bring some extra stimulation to enhance your adventures?

Like a lot of people, you might be nervous about having your most intimate sexual secrets exposed in an International Terminal as the TSA follows that mysterious buzzing sound into your carry-on. Worse yet, what if they open your suitcase and now all your fellow travelers know that you’re REALLY into anal play. But are they going to arrest you for having too much fun?

Here’s the answer: no. Unless you’re flying in Alabama (which still has some bans on buying toys in state), you are certainly, legally allowed to travel with your sex toys. You can take sex toys through security (ask me about the time I was coming home from a sex toy convention in Vegas with multiple suitcases full of buzzing bunnies, wands and dildos)! Yes, you can even carry the master of all personal massagers the Magic Wand through security either tucked into your bag or walking through the terminal waving it like a fairy princess! (Although you may not want to draw that much attention.)

One thing a lot of people worry about is the device turning on mid-travels. I’ve learned some creative ways to pack my toys to avoid in-flight luggage shifting inadvertently bumping the button and turning on my fully charged or battery-operated buddies. The easiest solution is The Boot Trick: tuck the toy into a boot to keep it secure. You can also wrap your toys in bubble wrap or put a cardboard tube around the part with the button (like a toilet paper or paper towel tube). Another easy fix is to take the batteries out, and replace them when you get to the hotel. For toys that use a charger, just leave them running before you pack to drain their battery and recharge them when you reach your destination.

As far as travel-friendly toys go, Jopen makes all their vibrators with a travel lock function specifically designed for this purpose. Here are a few of my don’t-leave-home-without-the-fun favorites:

  1.  My Secret Vibrating Lipstick is a super-powered, discreet mini vibe that looks just like lipstick, and can be tucked away in your cosmetic bag. With a soft silicone Flex-Tip, this massager is angled for smooth, targeted stimulation right where it counts with a whisper-quiet motor that buzzes at 3 strong speeds with a bonus pulsating “tease” mode. Travel-friendly, compact and portable, this Lipstick Vibe will give you a fresh-faced look that could only come from The Screaming O.
  2. The Womanizer Deluxe. For the ultimate discretion, you can choose a sex toy that doesn’t look like a toy at all! This innovative German-engineered toy recreates the sensation of oral sex using multi-intensity levels of indirect clitoral stimulation. Not only is it incredibly quiet, it actually looks more like a bedazzled ear thermometer than a device. The TSA will have no idea what they’re waving through.
  3. The Magic Wand. Want to skip all the fancy bells and whistles and just pack a powerful orgasmic punch? The Magic Wand is a classic that keeps people coming…back, again and again. It’s a bigger travel companion, but my Boot Trick is an easy solution to save on space. Plus, you’ve got options! You can choose between the OG version with an electrical cord or the new rechargeable model.

The bottom line is this: No matter where in the world we travel, we can keep our sex lives interesting and fun without worrying about “getting caught.” Rest assured that by bringing one of these vibrators along with you you’re not doing anything wrong. At the very worst, there could be an awkward exchange if a TSA agent isn’t quite sure what they’re holding. But in my EXTENSIVE experience, they’re always a good conversation starter! Just keep your sense of humor. Happy travels!

10 Reasons Vacation Sex Is the Best

Originally posted on  Cosmopolitan.com.

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It’s vacation season, which means you can go to really interesting places and spend most of the time in bed having sex. Or seeing interesting things, I guess, whatever. But vacation sex beats regular sex, every time.

1. It’s not your bed. Get as weird as you want. It doesn’t matter how filthy you get the covers — you don’t need to sleep in them forever. Have crazy sex and don’t bother showering after. Just lie in bed for a while and then go at it again. Let the hotel burn the sweat-and-fluid-stained sheets afterward.

2. You don’t have any (real) obligations. If you decide to stay in because you’re right in the middle of some great sex, the worst thing you’ll miss is a brunch or a guided bus tour. Neither of those things will give you an orgasm (well, I guess it depends on the brunch).

3. You’ve probably gotten a few drinks from the hotel bar. You’ve likely helped yourself to a few cocktails. I’m not saying tipsy sex is better, but it definitely isn’t worse.

4. You don’t care about your neighbors. It doesn’t matter how loud you are or if you’re hammering the headboard into the wall. You’re not going to have to look your hotel neighbors in the eye for more than a few days.

5. The furniture is basically begging for it. Have. Sex. On. Everything.

6. Room service means you can fuel up without ever leaving. Order some bacon and eggs, eat, and then have sex (again). Then repeat until you have to go back to work.

7. The bed is better than your bed. The pillows, the blanket, the super-resistant springs. It’s really, uh, shock-absorbent.

8. No work the next day. You ever try to crank out your orgasm fast so you can still get a good night’s sleep for work the next day? Not on vacation you haven’t.

9. You’re on vacation, dude. Have sex in front of giant picture windows that overlook Paris or Berlin or London, or wherever it is you are. The point is you’re not looking out at your backyard. Plus, you’ve got that vacation adrenaline rush.

10. That hotel bathroom. You’ve (probably) got a giant bathtub and a removable shower head. You’re going to take advantage of that.

Appointment Sex

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Sometimes I see folks complaining about “Appointment Sex” or scheduled sex with their partner. They feel like it’s not spontaneous, and therefore not romantic.

I totally have to disagree.

Mr. Treats is an older gentleman who uses a little, um, chemical performance assistance, just like SO many men nowadays do. There is nothing wrong with that at all, but it’s a little known fact that you can’t really have any fatty foods or really much food in your system at all in order for these little blue or orange pills to work correctly.

So, in order for our alone time  – we call it “Date Night,” said in initial caps lol – to be of the best quality, it takes some planning ahead. Because he has to watch what he eats in order for the pills work their intended magic, we have a set schedule for our Date Nights.

Let me tell you, this anticipation is a form of foreplay. We get extra flirty with each other a few days in advance, and the double entendres start flowing the morning of our Date. It’s so much fun!

Because of busy spring and summer activities, we recently changed things to an afternoon Date. That made things even more fun, because not only do we get to enjoy each other without a time limit, but we get a chance to enjoy a meal together afterward without worrying about anything or any restrictions.

Anyway, I gotta go – It’s Date Night 😉

 

 

 

A Fun Post-Date Night Activity

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Want to keep the fun going once you get home from your fun night out? Shop together online!

Looking at a pleasure product website that is designed to be couple-friendly can help you and your partner learn a lot about each other.

Communication is a key element in any healthy relationship, but when it comes to bedroom activities it’s easy to be too shy to ask for what you want.

Setting aside some time for you and your honey to shop together online is a subtle way to let your partner know what you are interested in, and to learn what your partner wants to try

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and also what he or she has no interest in at all.

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Body Candy Romantic Treats is perfect for this activity, because even though the product selection is spicy, the pleasure product designs are of a more subtle nature.

Go on, give it a try! You’ll be so glad you did 😉


Ready to play?

Feeling frisky? No time like the present!

Save 10% on whatever you want using coupon: BcBlog10 at checkout on BodyCandyRomanticTreats.com.