4 Foreplay Tricks You Probably Haven’t Tried

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Foreplay doesn’t just help get you in the mood—it can also feel as good as or sometimes even better than sex.

Since everyone has different turn-ons, the best thing you can do is pay attention to what works for you and then try to recreate it, says Winter. Don’t be afraid to let your partner know when they do something that you like, either. They’ll probably be happy to keep doing whatever gets you going in the future…and they’ll definitely appreciate the positive feedback.

Don’t believe us? Then you probably haven’t tried these fun new ideas.

  1. Replay your best memories together.

If you want to get some of the passion you had early in your relationship back, one thing you can do is recreate your past, says sexologist Barbara Winter, Ph.D.

This can start before sex—for example, going to one of your old date-night spots or wearing the same clothes you wore during a hot moment at the beginning of your relationship. Then, later in the night, break out a move you used to do in bed that really turned you both on.

  1. Start off outside the bedroom.

If you want to make things more spontaneous, try initiating foreplay in the kitchen, office, garage, or anywhere else where you don’t typically do it, says sex and relationship coach Claudia Six, Ph.D.

You can either lead your partner to the bedroom afterward or just have sex right then and there. “It’s the unexpected that keeps things interesting,” she says.

  1. Watch porn together.

If you and your partner are both into porn or are at least intrigued by it, try checking it out together. Afterward, Winter recommends talking about what you each like and dislike and what you might want to try (or not). Sometimes, it opens you up to ideas you might not have thought of before, says Winter.

  1. Experiment with temperature.

Heat and cold can both add a lot to the sensations you’re already feeling. One way to play with temperature is to suck on ice cubes and lick each other’s erogenous zones. Or you can try dripping warm wax on each other’s bodies or using warming lube. Either tactic—or the two combined—should create “a delicious shiver,” says Six.

 

4 Foreplay Tricks You Probably Haven’t Tried by Suzannah Weiss was originally published on Glamour


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Our Top 10 Toys For Couples for 2016!

We’re talking about the best of the best for 2016, as selected by YOU based on sales & searches.

Next week is our Top Ten Overall list, so be sure to tune in at this same time to see if your favorites made the list!

If you want to learn more about any of our Tops, click on any image to see it on bodycandyromantictreats.com

This week – Your Top Ten Toys for Couples!


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Here are your favorite Toys for Couples, starting with number 10 and working our way to number one.

10 – Door Jam Sex Sling

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9 – All Star Enhancer

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8 – The Screaming O Vibrating Ring

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7 – RingO 3-Pack

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6 – Ultimate Cage

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5 – DoubleO 6

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4 – Remote Control Vibrating Panty

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3 – Tongue Vibe

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2 – Ofinity Plus

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And your very favorite, number one Toy for Couples is…..

1 – We-Vibe 4 Plus!

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Stay tuned next week for our final Tops, the Overall Top 10 list for 2016!


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Our Top 10 Sex Enhancers for 2016!

From now through the end of the year, we’re talking about the best of the best for 2016. Everything has been been selected by YOU based on sales & searches, and come from your favorite categories.

I’ll do a Top Ten Overall list the last Sunday of the year, so you can see where your favorites land.

If you want to learn more about any of our Tops, click on any image to see it on bodycandyromantictreats.com

This week – Your Top Ten Enhancers!


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Sex Enhancers are exactly as they sound – Lotions & Potions designed to make sex BETTER.

Here are your favorite Enhancers for Him, Her, and Oral Sex, starting with number 10 and working our way to number one.

10 – JO Oral Delight

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9 – DynamO Delay

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8 – Comfortably Numb Oral Sex Mints

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7 – Plump Enhancing Cream for Men

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6 – JO Warm & Buzzy Clitoral Stimulant

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5 – Nipple Nibblers

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4 – JO Nipple Titillator

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3 – GoodHead Gel

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2 – JO Arctic Clitoral and G-Spot Stimulant

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And your very favorite, number one Sex Enhancer is…..

 

1 – JO For Her Spicy Clitoral Stimulant Gel

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Stay tuned next week for more of YOUR favorites!


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A Guide to Shower Sex

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I found this gem on the System JO blog, and thought it had some great tips and ideas. Plus, they go along well with our Sex In The Shower items, don’t you think?

The guided tour of shower sex is necessary in life because we all know how quickly something crazy hot can become tricky and even possibly awkward.

Wet surfaces do not provide traction and small space constraints lead to limited movement opportunities. The argument in favor of shower sex stands on slippery ground, with the many pitfalls ranging from falling sprays of water (in your eyes, up your nose) to actually falling on the floor. The key to sexy time is avoiding a situation requiring medical attention.

Steamy shower sex does sound extremely fun and spontaneous, evoking romantic images of erotic stroking and satisfying each other amidst the warm mist. You just jump on into the tub. No, okay, climb in carefully, but, ya know, sexy carefully. Now pull the shower curtain into place (remembering it is NOT a solid surface to be used as a gripping tool later) and adjust the showerhead so that it doesn’t hit either of you directly in the face. Whew, initial bullets dodged.

You start touching the other person’s soapy, wet, naked body…and…hmmm, now what? Turn around? Flatten your body against cold tiles? Hold on to what exactly for leverage…each other? Ow! An elbow in the face! (The Locking Suction Handle can help out with this!) Ugh! Where does my foot go?  (This is where the Foot Rest comes in handy!) The reality is that sex in the shower is often a complicated balancing act between partners who are willing to work for great, wet sex.

One of you is in the direct line of warm water, while the other is left out in the cold. Or maybe you are those lucky people who have a dual showerhead, waterfall rain showers everywhere. If not, remember to rotate! Trading places allows for a reduction in the amount of shivering skin time.

Also, this is not the moment for an epic display. Limit the minutes allotted for shower sex – wrinkled fingertips feel like being petted with dried fruit, a sure sign that you have stayed at too long at the party.

Logistical issues aside, sex in the shower breeds intimacy and orgasms, so it’s obviously a worthwhile effort. Just don’t forget that stability is what you want most in the chosen position! Feet planted firmly on the ground for both participants, doggy style gets our safest of the shower sex positions rating. You can use the high ground, palms placed flat against the wall, or face downwards and use hands to hold on to the edges of the tub. If you don’t have an old school tub-style shower, hold on to the hips in front of you for better support.

Facing each other is nice too, so try holding on to one knee with either your hand, or just balance in the crook of your elbow. You can also wrap one leg around the waist, and if superhero strength is at play, wrap both those legs around and prepare for some serious splashing. Do not use the edge of the tub for leverage! It will be slick and unreliable. Do not lean against a glass shower door! It can easily give way with applied human pressure. Lastly, do not feel confident that the ceramic soap dish jutting out of the wall can handle any weight beyond that of soap.

A final note is that water washes away both natural and certain synthetic lubrication, so you may want to switch over to silicone as opposed to water-based formulas. Condoms do not work so well in the water either, they tend to slip and slide…so prep in advance for contraception needs.


 

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Here’s How Long Sex Lasts Around the World

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Some fun, international facts, as shared by Glamour Smitten

Have you ever wondered whether the amount of time you spend having sex is normal? It might seem impossible to know how long exactly other people are spending on sex, since it’s not like couples take stopwatches into the bedroom. But, for one study, couples did just that.

According to an article in The Conversation by Brendan Zietsch, Ph.D., a research fellow at the University of Queensland, the best study we have to date of the time it takes to have sex involved 500 couples in five different countries timing themselves with stopwatches.

It turns out the average time it takes to have sex—not including foreplay, but just measuring the time from insertion to ejaculation—is 5.4 minutes on average in the Netherlands, United Kingdom, Spain, Turkey, and the United States. The Turkish had less endurance than the rest of the world, with a 3.7-minute average, while the rest were in the six to seven-minute range. Younger men lasted longer, with an average of 6.5 minutes for 18-to-30-year-olds (men 51 and older lasted 4.3 minutes).

Contrary to what some may say about the desensitizing effects of condoms, they didn’t have an impact on how long sex lasted. Circumcision didn’t have an influence either, with a pretty non-significant difference of six minutes for uncircumcised men and 6.7 for circumcised ones.

Of course these are averages—plenty of people around the world are having longer and shorter bedroom romps. But, if you’ve been wondering if your six-minute sack sessions are the norm, know this: They totally are.

How To Orgasm With A Partner (Because Sex Can Be Complicated)

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This was originally posted on Bustle, and I liked most of the info included. As usual, I added my own spin on some things, and included links to products I think you’ll like.


 

For a lot of women, the question of whether they’ll be able to have an orgasm during sex is fraught with anxiety. We’re taught from a young age — both on TV and movies, as well as and in porn — that our pleasure will come from a male partner who will put his magic penis inside of us, and we’ll be able to come without any foreplay or clitoral stimulation at all.

Talk about total crap, am I right?

But why would anyone think differently about our orgasms? We don’t talk about self-pleasure with our friends, and we really don’t get any guidance around getting off from adults either. Is it any wonder that only a third of women regularly experience an orgasm during intercourse, and that as many as 10 percent might not even orgasm at all?

However, more and more women are discovering how to orgasm on their own. Our culture is shifting in a positive direction, so that adult women, at least, are feeling empowered to take their orgasms into their own hands. We’ve got sex-positive, female-run sex shops like ours. A million different types of toys exist to help us get there, many of which are designed by and for women (like the Rave by We-Vibe or a simple bullet-style vibe like Vooom!). And we have sites that are yelling to the mountaintops about sex-positivity and pleasure. We still have a long way to go, but it’s hard to deny that we’re entering a golden age of female pleasure.

But how do you translate that solo orgasm into a partnered orgasm? This is the spot where a lot of women get stuck. Suddenly there’s another person involved in the process, and things get a whole lot more complicated than when it was just you and your vibe at home. Maybe you’re shy about speaking up for yourself or you’re not sure if they’ll be down to do what you need done. Whatever the reason, here are nine tips to help you make sure you come, too.

 

  1. Don’t Be Scared To Fantasize

When you’re enjoying self-pleasure, you’re probably watching or reading something that turns you on, or at least thinking about something sexy. There’s no reason you can’t do that with a partner as well. The key to this one is to try different stimuli during your alone time. You’ll stumble onto something that consistently works and that’s the fantasy you should turn to when you’re having trouble getting into it or you just can’t come.

  1. Be Willing To Focus On Your Own Pleasure

Women are conditioned to be more concerned about the needs of others — especially men — than our own needs. (Thanks, patriarchy!)

But a lot of us need some very specific touch, thoughts, words, or whatever, to get off. Dan Savage is fond of saying that if a man needed a canoe and a nun in the room in order to have an orgasm, you can bet they would be there even during a one-night stand. Figure out what your nun and canoe are, and insist on them! If you need direct clitoral stimulation (as most of do), then ask your partner to stimulate it or stimulate it yourself!

Your pleasure is as important as the pleasure of the person you’re with and you’re the only one who is in charge of it. Do you, boo.

  1. Have Your Partner Watch

If your partner just isn’t hitting the right spots, have them watch while you get yourself off. They can masturbate too while you’re doing it, because, well, who wouldn’t find that hot? They’ll learn exactly what kind of touch works for you and what doesn’t because they’ll actually see it.

  1. Self-Stimulate

On a similar note, don’t be scared to self-stimulate during partnered sex. As I mentioned above, most women need direct clitoral stimulation in order to get off — penis in the vagina alone (for those of you doing it with dudes) just doesn’t cut it for most of us. Reach down there and give yourself a little boost!

  1. Do It Sober

Having drunk sex can dull your nerves and your connection with your body. If you find you’re always banging under the influence, consider switching it up and going at it sober sometime. This is a double-edged sword, of course, because one of the reasons we drink is to get rid of inhibitions, and fewer inhibitions often translates to being more willing to have sex. However, if your goal is orgasming, and drunk sex is not ending in orgasm, then sobering up could seriously be your solution.

  1. Do It Tipsy

On the other hand, if you’re having trouble letting go of your inhibitions, and that’s keeping you from orgasm, have a couple glasses of wine! Don’t get blotto drunk (because: see above), but a drink or two will get your blood flowing, and might help lower your inhibitions to the point where you’re able to let go enough to get there.

  1. Do What Works

A lot of women have one position that works for them. Don’t be scared to do it, even if it means you always end in that position! If it works, it works, and your partner should be down with a little repetition if it means you end with big O.

  1. Turn Off The Lights

Some women are self-conscious about their bodies, and find that their worries about how they look are keeping them from being in the moment. (Thanks again, patriarchy!)

A great solution for this problem in the short term is to turn off the lights! It also heightens your other senses, so even if you’re totally cool with how your naked body looks, it can be great way to up sensation.

In the long term, though, it’s time to get body-positive.

  1. Let Go

Sometimes it takes a mantra in your head: Let go, let go, let go. Give yourself permission, and you’ll get there.


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How To Use A Vibrator

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This was originally posted on Kinkly, but I added some helpful links for ya : )

We often have a look at the search terms people enter into our site. It’s part of our business, but it’s also an effort to get to know our readers better. What are you into? What you searching for that we haven’t covered? What are we missing? We’ve learned some interesting and important things. But we were a bit surprised to see a number of searches for:

“How to use a vibrator.”

Our first reaction to that was kind of, like, really? I mean, don’t you just kind of turn the thing on and … apply it … to the affected area?

But then we thought about it some more, and it’s actually a really good question. Because, of course, we shouldn’t just be interested in using a vibrator in a way that works, or that makes us feel pretty good, we should know how to use one to the best of its abilities, and to make us feel great. After all, making us feel awesome is what sex toys are all about.

So, here we answer one of your top questions about how to use a vibrator.

Remember That It’s Your Jazz

Rather than get all preachy and telling you where to stick it, why don’t we start this thing out right by making it very, very clear that there is no one right way to use any sex toy.

Many vibrators are designed to do certain things, such as stimulate the G-spot, or simulate oral sex on the clitoris, but the truth is that people can – and often do – find fun “off-label” ways to play with these toys too. And that is totally cool. People and their preferences are unique, so one of the best ways to use any sex toy is to experiment and follow what feels good to you. If you prefer the powerful rumble of that G-spot vibe on your clitoris, that’s just fine. If you’re using a sex toy and you’re feeling awesome, you’re doing it right, regardless of what it says on the package.

(Note, however, that there are few caveats here when it comes to safety. This means you’ll have to avoid things like putting porous toys or toys without a flared base in your butt. Got it? Play on.)

Looking to add a new toy to your collection? Check out JOPEN’s and WE-VIBE’s beautiful bestsellers.

Test Out the Controls

Whether you’re trying out a new vibrator or turning to an old favorite, it’s easy to get lazy. There! It’s on! It’s working!

But a lot of sex toys have a lot of different features, speeds and settings that can be a lot of fun. Test out your toy on your hand to discover all the things it can do. Yeah, you could test it out on more sensitive erogenous areas, but it’s really easy to get distracted and, you know, have an orgasm, before you get through all your vibe’s nifty settings.

Start Small

You’ll often hear sex toy manufacturers and reviewers touting a toy’s vibrating “power.” And, to be fair, a powerful vibrator can be a really amazing thing.

However, for many people, really strong vibration, particularly against the clitoris, can be overwhelming – and even unpleasant. If you aren’t too sure about the level of power that you need, start on the lowest setting. This will help get your body warmed up and accustomed to the sensation.

Physiologically, arousal increases your ability to withstand more intense stimulation. Allowing that arousal to happen to slowly can also help you build to a bigger, better climax. Too much stimulation too soon can also result in a numb feeling, which can really kill the mood, so start out on a low setting and work your way up.

Avoid Being Too Focused

OK, so remember how we said you can get creative and come up with your own way of using your vibrator? Well this one takes it one step further. Instead of being focused on your typical erogenous zones, try expanding your exploration to your hips, stomach breasts and whatever feels good. We often think of our so-called “private parts” as our only sexual areas, but the rest of the body can produce amazing sensations – even orgasm – if we’re open to it.

Use Lube

If there’s one universal sex tip out there that’ll help boost pleasure for just about anyone in any kind of sex act it’s use lube. You might remember to do this if you’re using your vibrator internally, but it works wonders when you’re using it externally as well.

You may not notice it, but vibration does create a bit of its own friction. Using lube can help reduce this, prevent irritation, allow you to play longer and ultimately make your play time that much more pleasurable. Try it!

A favorite for toy play is Toy Love. It’s thicker than most water based lubes on the market, so it stays where you put it. Plus, that gel consistency enhances the vibrations of your pleasure product.

Get to Know Your Anatomy

A lot sex advice is focused around tips like “tease your clitoris” or “massage your G-spot,” but it can be pretty hard to do those things when you aren’t quite sure where they are.

A lot of people don’t have a good sense of their own anatomy, where erogenous zones like the G-spot and perineal sponge are, or how to arouse them. Do some research here. Once you know your body, you’ll be more empowered to explore it to find your pleasure.

Try It With a Partner

We often think of vibrators as a solo tool. You know, for when you don’t have a partner. But that is a pretty limited way of thinking about all the things these toys can do.

Almost any vibe can be used for some sort of couples’ play, whether that means a partner using it on you, or slipping it between the two of you during sex for a little extra oomph.

We have some great tips on couples’ vibrators, as well as the etiquette for bringing a vibrator into couples’ play. So put that on your list of great ways to put your little vibrating friend to good use.

How do you use your vibrator? Share some tips with us in the comments!


Ready to play?

Did you find yourself fantasizing or flexing your pelvic orgasm muscle as you learned about the ideas mentioned above? No time like the present!

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