Don’t Ditch the Classics: 4 Standard Sex Positions and Why They Rule

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By Scott Power

Classics don’t become classics by accident. They become classics because they’re among the best—because they’re tried, true and reliable.

This holds true for classic sex positions, for sure. They’re the standards, the foundations of sexual bliss that have been around for millennia. People have been enjoying them forever, because their ability to bring the pleasure is proven and perpetual.

And while there is certainly plenty to be said about trying new things and getting a little bit wild with the positions you and your partner try out and adopt as mainstays, it’s important to not forget about these several classic positions.

Here’s why.


1 – Missionary

Missionary is a great way to both start and end sex, and it’s probably the best position there is for engaging in eye contact, which can be one of the most arousing and intimate things you and your partner can engage in during sex. It’s also a great position for kissing while thrusting, if you’re coordinated enough. Additionally, if you’re the woman, missionary can give you a break while the guy does some of the work, and you can just lie back and concentrate on pure, unadulterated enjoyment.

2 – Cowgirl

If you think about it, cowgirl has a lot of the benefits of missionary. It’s great for eye contact and kissing, and it’s an opportunity for the man to take a break and lie back. (Additionally, many men tend to last longer and are able to delay orgasm for a bit if the woman is on top.) It also grants an amazing breast view, and easy access for breast and nipple stimulation.

3 – Doggie

Well, this one is admittedly not great for eye contact (unless you’re both facing a mirror, which, to be honest, takes things to a whole different level and is absolutely worth a shot). For women, the angle when a guy is behind you can result in deeper penetration in comparison with lots of other positions. And for guys? Well, it’s simple: you get to look at a beautiful butt. It’s also (arguable) the best position for hair-pulling, if that’s something you and your partner are into.

4 – Sixty-Nine

You should never forget about foreplay, and the Sixty-Nine position is great for oral and manual pleasure. It just makes sense. Why wouldn’t you want to get while you give, and give while you get? And Sixty-Nining isn’t just a great foreplay method. It’s also a great breather for you and your partner during a sex session—a nice interstitial between penetrative positions.

 

Don’t Ditch the Classics: 4 Standard Sex Positions and Why They Rule By Scott Power originally appeared on The Nightstand


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7 Things to Know About Couples’ Vibrators

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by Anna Lynn

Takeaway: Intercourse often doesn’t lead to orgasm for women. That’s where couples’ vibes come in.

You’ve probably heard some variation of this sad statistic: Only 25 percent of women consistently orgasm during vaginal intercourse.

Let’s put that out there again: Only one in four women reliably experience orgasm during vaginal intercourse, regardless of partner’s penis size, or how long the sex lasts, or even how a woman feels about her partner. And this isn’t according to just one study either; the figure comes from a comprehensive analysis of 33 studies over the past 80 years, which was conducted by Elisabeth Lloyd for “The Case of the Female Orgasm.”

Yikes.

But while that may go against what many of us were raised to believe about partnered, heterosexual intercourse, those who have a firm grasp of female anatomy and sexual function understand full well what it takes to get a girl off. According to experts, clitoral stimulation is what the vast majority of women need to push them over the edge.

Of course, intercourse isn’t the only kind of sex out there. Hands and mouths are both great for pleasing female bodies. So, of course, are vibrators. And that’s where a relatively new breed of vibrator comes in: couples’ vibes. They are designed to make intercourse explosively pleasurable for both partners. Because when it comes to skin-on-skin contact and intimacy, intercourse definitely has a few fun perks. Here are seven things to know about these unique toys.


They Come in Many Shapes, Sizes and Types

A lot of vibrators are great for couples’ play. You can add a wand vibrator, or a simple clitoral vibrator during partner play, or even during intercourse as long as you’re in a position to fit it between you and your partner.

The vibes we often refer to as couples’ vibes, however, are designed to be worn during intercourse for both partners’ pleasure. Although vibrating cock rings fit into this category (and many couples love them!), the main contenders here are c-shaped, wearable couples’ vibes like the We-Vibe Sync and LELO Tiani, among others. This type of vibe is designed to be worn inside a woman’s body, with one arm extending out to reach the clitoris. What this means is that not only can these vibrators be worn hands-free during intercourse, but that the male partner gets a buzz (in addition to a tighter fit).

They’re Designed to Hit the Clit

Couples’ vibrators are popular because they’re designed to stimulate the clitoris, which is just what many women need to be truly (and consistently) orgasmic during partnered intercourse. For many women, these toys can be a game-changer. The clitoris has at least 8,000 sensory nerve endings and is believed to extend deep into the pelvic area. It’s the queen of the orgasmic castle.

They Encourage Communication

Couples’ vibes are fairly easy to use, but because they provide some new sensations or challenges, ensuring that using one is pleasurable for both partners requires some communication.

Positioning the device, your partner and finding the right vibration setting will all take some experimentation. If you’re doing it right, you’ll probably chat, giggle and have fun with a few failed attempts. But isn’t that what great sex is all about?

They Aren’t Just for Women’s Pleasure

With all the vibrating toys available for women, it’s easy to assume that penises just don’t respond to vibration. That isn’t the case.

Many men enjoy vibration against the head of the penis, scrotum or shaft. In fact, research on vibrator use has found that almost half of men have tried a vibrator at least once. They’re even used to help men with sexual dysfunction. In other words, for many men, vibration can feel amaaazing! A couples’ vibrator provides a pleasurable buzz to the head of a man’s penis while it’s inserted. For some men, this will provide an additional (and unique) sensation to intercourse.

They’re Also Fun for One

Just because they’re marketed as couples’ vibes doesn’t mean you can’t use one solo. In fact, because of the way they fit into and against the body, a couples’ vibe can provide a hands-free orgasm. Most of the latest couples’ vibes are remote controlled; just use the remote to control the vibration setting and intensity, lay back, and enjoy the ride!

They’re Great for Foreplay

Thanks to the remote control that comes standard with most couples’ vibes today, the wearer can enjoy a discreet and sexy buzz from her partner from across a room. When it comes to titillating foreplay, this is about as good as it gets. For an extra thrill, try it in public.

They Make a Sexy Gift

If you’re looking to spice things up with a partner, a sex toy can make a great gift. Couples’ vibes offer pleasure to both partners, which makes them an excellent choice. But unlike jewelry, it’ll have both partners purring with pleasure.

As a relatively new type of vibrator, couples’ vibes offer a great option for couples who want to take intercourse to a whole new level. They’re fun, they’re unique and they’re sexy. Sounds like a recipe for a spicier sex life.

 

7 Things to Know About Couples’ Vibrators by Anna Lynn was originally published on Kinkly.


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7 Sex Positions for Summer When It’s Honestly Too Hot To Touch Another Human Body

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Summer can be the absolute worst for having sex. It’s hot, it’s sticky, and getting all close with another human can seem like the worst idea ever. Even if they’re sexy as hell, and you’re in the mood. But with a little creativity, there are lots of sex positions for summer that minimize body contact. So you can get your freak on without just wanting to push your partner away in a bout of sweaty, summer irritability.

Most of these positions are assuming that you don’t have a private pool or lake area to bone in, because if you do, you should take full advantage of that. No excuses. Just be careful and remember that water can rinse off your natural lubrication, so use a silicon-based lube for to stay wet and safe. Also make sure the AC is on full blast.

If you don’t have a pool, here are some simple summer sex positions, because really, who can do acrobatics in this heat?

1 – Doggy style.

Whether you’re going for penetration or oral, doing it from behind is the way to go. To minimize body contact, and get a good angle for penetration, get on all fours, and let your partner get at it. Adding a Doggie Style Strap can help with leverage.

2 – Shower sex.

Alright, shower sex can be controversial, since most of us don’t have Hollywood-style luxury showers, so there’s not a lot of room. But here’s the thing: Don’t have shower sex when someone is actually showering. After you come in from a long sweaty walk, turn on the water to cool (not freezing, unless you’re into that) and have standing sex in the shower. Just don’t slip. Check out the Sex in the Shower collection for some items like foot rests and handles to add to your safety and fun.

3 – Masturbate with each other.

If you are seriously that cranky and sweaty that you need to get way more turned on before you can make physical contact, just do you. Masturbating at the same time can be really hot, though it takes a certain level of confidence for some people. It’s also a good way to break the ice about showing your partner your favorite vibrator techniques to use in the future.

4 – A classic 69.

They call things classics for a reason. 69-ing is possibly the best summer sex position, because you don’t have to touch anything other than the area you’re working with. And someone is giving you oral, which is one of the better things this life on earth has to give us. To minimize the “work” part of this (and thus, lower your heart rate and body temp), you should both lay on your sides and go to town.

5 – Get sideways.

Some people call this the “Linguini,” which is fitting because in the middle of August, you basically feel like soggy pasta anyway. Lie on your side and have your partner (or you, if you like the top) get behind on one knee, for a better angle and support. Roll up on one of your butt cheeks and let your partner penetrate you with their penis, a dildo, or just rub up on each other in a sort of modified scissor. The idea is that you don’t have to rub up on any other body part here.

6 – Find the *right* spot.

If you can, try to sit on a cool countertop or the washing machine (it can be on or off, BTW). Your partner should stand and penetrate you or go down. Sure, they’re working hard. But you have a cool surface under your ass to regulate your body temp. And maybe next time, you can switch roles.

7 – Woman on top.

Sometimes climbing on top of the other person is the way to minimize getting all gross and sweaty. You can sit on top of your partner, and do whatever it is you like to do. If you have trouble being in control of the movement, try a “reverse cowgirl” (you just sit on a male partner backwards) in a chair, couch, or edge of the bed. That way, he can guide you a little bit until you guys find the right rhythm.

At the end of the day, summer sex is going to be a lot like sex any other time of year. Just sweatier.

7 sex positions for summer when it’s honestly too hot to touch another human body by Karen Fratti was originally posted on Hello Giggles.


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How A Sex Menu Could Help In The Bedroom

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The simple trick that could help you have amazing sex.

All you need is a pen and paper!

Writhing about naked, covered in sweat: sex is one of the most uninhibited things you can do with another person. So it’s sort of odd that a lot of us are so terrible at talking about it.

And whether a relationship is in those heady stages when you fumble around trying to work out what marks “ooh that’s nice” from “er, please don’t do that”, or together for so long that you think you know their body better than Google Maps knows our planet, it can be tough to express exactly what you want.

Enter the sex menu.

This is list of what a person loves, hates, and would be up for trying during foreplay and sex. The depth that this goes in to depends on the person. Yes, this sounds cringe-worthy, but so is sex and that is why we are in this mess in the first place. And judging by a recent study by relationship charity Relate – which found that less than half of people are satisfied with their sex life, and 51 per cent had not had sex in the last month – a lot of us could do with some help in the bedroom.

Sex expert Dr Stephen de Wit suggests taking twenty minutes to be completely open with yourself, and run down his detailed list of turn-ons and positions, from holding hands to bondage, cross-dressing and caning, and marking ‘yes’ or ‘no’. To refine the list further, the answers can be ranked from one to five for willingness, with a section for notes explaining any concerns, fears or specific requests.

This simple exercise enables a person to build awareness about their body, and to take the time to consider what they enjoy, and how best to share this information with future partners.

“Do not judge others” he adds on his website. “There will be things on the list that turn you on tremendously and some that you’ll say ‘Oh Hells No’ or think something is gross. That is perfectly ok that you are not comfortable with it at this time of your life and it may be something that turns someone else on.”

Sex menus also avoid goal-oriented sex, where orgasms rather than pleasure, experimentation and exploration are the focus.

Peter Saddington, a sex therapist in the Midlands who works for the relationships charity Relate and is a chair of the College of Sexual Relation and Therapy, told The Independent that sex menus can certainly be a useful tool.

“Consistently people assume when they get together and they are sexual they develop a way to work and stick with it and don’t experiment. Sex is still a strange subject. There is pressure to think that people are having lots of great sex and that you need to do the same, but that is not the case for lots of couples”

Saddington goes on to argue that a lack of understanding when it comes to sex starts from a young age. “Sex isn’t talked about successfully by parents talking to kids or in schools. There is a general lack of knowledge and understanding about it as a subject.” As such, people can feel embarrassed and pressured into having sex they don’t fully enjoy.

An alternative to a sex menu is a three circle exercise, adds Saddington, where a person lays out what they are OK with, what they are no OK with, but also what they are happy have to give but not receive and visa versa.

But he stresses that while a sex menu is a good guide, it should still be perceived as flexible.

“How and whether you want to have sex is affected by that day and the relationship. There are questions you need to consider each time you are being sexual. Just because something worked last time, it doesn’t mean a person wants it a second time.”

For couples with clashing lists, Saddington suggests discussing the actions. “This can help ensure you are talking about the same thing, and see if the partner is willing to explore or meet half way.”

From there, try exploring verbally and physically but be sure to stop if something is uncomfortable.

How A Sex Menu Could Help In The Bedroom by Kashmira Gander was originally published on The Independent


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11 Ways for Your Partner (and You) to Get Really, Really Good at Sex

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Hopefully you come away satisfied pretty much every time you have sex. But that doesn’t mean there isn’t room for improvement—for you and your partner.

“It’s always possible to get better at sex,” says New York City sex therapist Ian Kerner, Ph.D., author of She Comes First. “You can always get more in tune with your own process of sexual arousal, as well as your partner’s, and always fine-tune/enhance the stimulation and orgasm, much of which comes through knowing yourself and knowing each other.”

Jessica O’Reilly, Astroglide’s resident sex and relationship expert, agrees: “I’m a sexologist, and I know I could be much better in bed.”

Here are a few ways to take your sex up a notch:


FOR YOUR PARTNER

  1. Work the spare parts:

“Don’t forget the perineum, testicles, and mons pubis (that padded area right above the genitals),” says licensed marriage and sex therapist Kat Van Kirk, Ph.D. She recommends tickling, fondling, and sucking the areas, both during foreplay and sex, to show how creative you are.

  1. Bust out a sex toy:

Sometimes we all need an extra hand to ramp things up, which is why Van Kirk recommends keeping a favorite sex toy handy. “Using a good sex toy, you can keep things spontaneous, avoid hand/wrist fatigue, and ensure that everyone ‘gets there,’” she says.

  1. Lube, lube, lube:

“The things you can do with lube will change your life,” says O’Reilly. Her best lube move: Use two hands (fingers interlaced) and a generous serving of lube to create a tight, wet grip for an epic hand job. “The couples I work with say this simple hand job technique is so good, it could put an end to blow jobs,” she says.

  1. Tease the anal area:

There’s a big difference between anal sex (which isn’t for everyone) and anal play (which can feel risqué but still within many people’s comfort zones). Kerner recommends grazing your partner’s anal area with your fingers or lips, especially during oral. “There are lots of nerve endings, and it’s also a taboo area for many guys,” he says. Van Kirk agrees: “Many men and women enjoy a little finger play during sex. It ups the ante.” Make sure to always add a little lubricant when exploring this area, as the anal area does not self lubricate.

  1. Double up on sensations:

Try stimulating two areas at once. For example, Kerner says you can squeeze your partner’s nipple while giving manual or oral stimulation to hit several erogenous zones at once.

FOR YOU

  1. Don’t be afraid to fantasize:

Kerner points out that there’s nothing wrong with fantasizing while you’re having sex—and it can really blow your mind. Plus, “it helps stress centers deactivate, which is important for arousal process,” he says.

  1. Take things into your own hands:

The clitoris is the gateway to orgasm for most women, so Kerner recommends either guiding your partner to yours or stimulating it yourself if you’re not getting what you need.

  1. Get noisy:

Not only is noisy sex hot, there’s a biological aspect of it that makes sex even better, O’Reilly says. “Holding back/muffling your sounds impedes natural breathing patterns, which can hinder orgasmic response,” she says. Moaning, groaning, and breathing heavily, on the other hand, helps move things along.

  1. Clear your head:

It sounds obvious that you should be in the moment when you’re having sex, but Van Kirk notes that it’s an issue for a lot of women. “Being stuck in your head, worried about how you look during sex or what you need to do when you’re done, never improves sex,” she points out. Instead, zero in on the sensations you’re feeling and ride them out.

  1. Masturbate more:

“Most women don’t self stimulate enough,” says Van Kirk. “This can result in orgasm issues related to a lack of self awareness about what stimulation works best for them.” Plus, she points out, women who masturbate more tend to have higher self esteems and more confidence in the bedroom. And, of course, when you know what works for you during a solo session, it’s more easy to get what you need with partner sex.

  1. Talk it out:

While there are a lot of moves you can try, Kerner says talking about sex, communicating during sex, and sharing fantasies really is the best way to have next-level sex. “When people think back on the best sex they ever had, there’s often an aspect of novelty or psychological stimulation,” he says.

 

11 Ways for Your Partner (and You) to Get Really, Really Good at Sex By Korin Miller was originally published on Glamour


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Sex Toys That Every Couple Should Try

Toys to try

Sex toys have come a long way since the days of Dr. Joseph Mortimer Granville’s “electro-mechanical vibrator” hit the scene in 1883. You’ve got sleeves, dildos, props, plugs, things that go in places, things that go on places, and things that go just about anywhere. Just like sex, there are many types of toys and even more ways to enjoy them.

There are probably more sex toys out there than you could use in a lifetime, and each of them more versatile than you can imagine (but, go ahead and try). Some solo sex toys can even translate into a great shared experience for you and your partner, but some are made with both of you in mind.

After gathering data, we curated a list of accessories, tools, and toys, guaranteed to rock both your socks off. Here, you’ll find the best treats you can use with a partner (or even just to amp up your solo playtime).

Adults need toys too. Have a little grown-up fun.


Linea Versa

Linea

This vibrator is ideal for couples in which one partner has a penis and one has a vagina. Each end of the toy does something different: The penetrative end can be inserted for internal vaginal vibrations, and the circular end can be used as a masturbation sleeve for penises. Couples can use the Versa at the same time. Simply place the circle around the penis as the lengthy end slides inside the vagina.

 

The (Hitachi) Magic Wand

Magic Wand

The Hitachi Magic Wand is referred to as the “Cadillac of vibrators” for a reason. It’s big, it’s powerful, and it’s reliable. Originally created to relax muscles, the wand quickly gathered a cult following as a vibrator for its undeniable ability to relax people (especially those with clits) in other ways. While the sex toy works wonders for solo play, it’s fun to use in a relationship to help a partner with a vagina reach orgasm during penetrative sex. For those into BDSM, the magic wand is often used by the dominant on the submissive partner to bring the sub to orgasm while they’re bound or tied up.

 

Chain Nipple Clamps

Nipple Clamps

Anyone with nipples can enjoy nipple clamps. While the toy can be used solo, experimenting with a partner can be especially fun if you’re exploring BDSM. The dominant partner (the one exerting control over the sex scene) will usually place the clamps on the submissive’s nipples. This pair in classic S&M black and red is useful for beginners, since they are adjustable. Begin by placing the clamps on the nipples with light pressure, and adjust the little screw as wanted to tighten for more intense sensations.

 

Beginner’s Butt Plug

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Butt plugs are a must-have for any couple interested in anal play, and they don’t have to be used solo: They can be worn during vaginal intercourse for dual-penetration with a partner. It’s important to start small, so this little guy is a perfect plug for beginners. Just don’t forget to use lube when inserting anal toys into your butt.

 

Clone-A-Willy In-Home Penis Molding Kit 

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If your partner has a penis, this aptly-named “Clone-A-Willy” lets you create a silicone mold of it — one that vibrates. Ideal for couples in long-distance relationships, the toy comes in a variety of skin tones, so you can get as realistic as you’d like. (You also have the option to make it neon pink and glow-in-the-dark, which…yes.) If creating a penis clone sounds daunting, fear not: According to customer reviews, the Clone-A-Willy comes with detailed and easy to follow instructions

 

Ours Fetish Kit

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If you’re curious about adding BDSM to your relationship, but unsure of where to start, this starter kit is just what you need. It contains wrist and ankle cuffs, a ball gag, a blindfold, nipple suckers, and a tickler for teasing. Just be sure to learn about some BDSM best practices, and then get ready to dip your toes into the world of kink.

 

Big O Multi-Stage Vibrating Penis Ring

Big O

This vibrating penis ring promises to keep you both stimulated and satisfied.

 

OhMiBod LoveLife & Share Vibrating Ring

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This snug vibrating ring is one you and your partner can enjoy together. Don’t let its compact size fool you — with seven different vibration settings, the Love Life vibrator packs enough energy for the both of you.

 

Entice Kegel Balls

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This kegel bead set is here to turn up the heat on your foreplay sessions.

Inspired by Ben Wa balls, the Entice Kegel Balls is a set of two beads connected with a retrieval wire that promises to deliver some seriously unique pleasure. The inner balls are meant to respond to movement with subtle vibrations, making them perfect to use with a partner.

 

Lelo SIRI 2

Siri 2

The only thing better than a vibrator with eight different settings is a vibrator that vibrates to eight different settings, according to your music.

Lelo’s SIRI 2 works as a regular vibrator sans-music as well, but should you wish, you can also get creative and sync your music library to let it pulse to the beat of your any song you choose. Bonus: it also boasts Lelo’s “strongest vibrations ever,” and is 100% waterproof. Sure, you can use it solo, but letting your partner take the reins is half the fun.

 

We-Vibe 4 Plus

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This is the perfect couples’ sex toy — it was designed specifically to be used during intercourse. The U-shaped toy has one curved arm to stimulate the clit and another to rest in the vagina during intercourse — and it provides enough vibration and simulation for both partners.

Added bonus: It can be controlled by an app on your phone. This makes it pretty ideal for long-distance relationships (talk about taking sexting to another level), but that doesn’t mean couples who get tons of face-to-face time can’t enjoy it, too. You and your partner can download the free We-Vibe 4+ app and connect your toy to it by inputting the serial number. You can then invite each other to “connect” on the app and sync up. We’ll let you take it from there.

 

Liberator Heart Wedge
Heart Wedge

Yes, fine, it looks like a physical-therapy aid. But, the Liberator is a cult classic for very good reason. It’s an extremely firm and durable cushion that makes so many sex acts more comfortable (and those hard-to-reach spots very, very reachable).

Use it under your pelvis during oral sex. Try using it for elbow support during…anything that requires elbow support. There’s really nothing else like it for new or tricky positions. Sometimes, all you need is a little boost.

 

Soy Massage Candle

Massage candle

Scented candles are always a gamble. Will it be too strong, too sweet, too “sensual?” This line really gets it right — fragrant, but not overpowering.

But, the coolest thing about massage candles is their double duty. The oil melts at a lower temperature than wax, so you can pour or brush the melted candle directly onto skin without burning anybody.

 

JO Premium Silicone Lube

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A lot of people get weird about lube, frantically insisting, “I don’t need it!” as if human worth were judged by the ability to self-lubricate. The truth is, even if you don’t “need” lube, per se, it can make so many things so much more fun (and comfortable).

JO Premium, as the name suggests, is the ultimate. It’s silicone, meaning it’s hypoallergenic and will not be absorbed into your skin.

 

Sex Toys That Every Couple Should Try by Kelsey Miller was originally published on Refinery29, and amended to include items we at Body Candy love.


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4 Foreplay Tricks You Probably Haven’t Tried

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Foreplay doesn’t just help get you in the mood—it can also feel as good as or sometimes even better than sex.

Since everyone has different turn-ons, the best thing you can do is pay attention to what works for you and then try to recreate it, says Winter. Don’t be afraid to let your partner know when they do something that you like, either. They’ll probably be happy to keep doing whatever gets you going in the future…and they’ll definitely appreciate the positive feedback.

Don’t believe us? Then you probably haven’t tried these fun new ideas.

  1. Replay your best memories together.

If you want to get some of the passion you had early in your relationship back, one thing you can do is recreate your past, says sexologist Barbara Winter, Ph.D.

This can start before sex—for example, going to one of your old date-night spots or wearing the same clothes you wore during a hot moment at the beginning of your relationship. Then, later in the night, break out a move you used to do in bed that really turned you both on.

  1. Start off outside the bedroom.

If you want to make things more spontaneous, try initiating foreplay in the kitchen, office, garage, or anywhere else where you don’t typically do it, says sex and relationship coach Claudia Six, Ph.D.

You can either lead your partner to the bedroom afterward or just have sex right then and there. “It’s the unexpected that keeps things interesting,” she says.

  1. Watch porn together.

If you and your partner are both into porn or are at least intrigued by it, try checking it out together. Afterward, Winter recommends talking about what you each like and dislike and what you might want to try (or not). Sometimes, it opens you up to ideas you might not have thought of before, says Winter.

  1. Experiment with temperature.

Heat and cold can both add a lot to the sensations you’re already feeling. One way to play with temperature is to suck on ice cubes and lick each other’s erogenous zones. Or you can try dripping warm wax on each other’s bodies or using warming lube. Either tactic—or the two combined—should create “a delicious shiver,” says Six.

 

4 Foreplay Tricks You Probably Haven’t Tried by Suzannah Weiss was originally published on Glamour


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