Sex Toys That Every Couple Should Try

Toys to try

Sex toys have come a long way since the days of Dr. Joseph Mortimer Granville’s “electro-mechanical vibrator” hit the scene in 1883. You’ve got sleeves, dildos, props, plugs, things that go in places, things that go on places, and things that go just about anywhere. Just like sex, there are many types of toys and even more ways to enjoy them.

There are probably more sex toys out there than you could use in a lifetime, and each of them more versatile than you can imagine (but, go ahead and try). Some solo sex toys can even translate into a great shared experience for you and your partner, but some are made with both of you in mind.

After gathering data, we curated a list of accessories, tools, and toys, guaranteed to rock both your socks off. Here, you’ll find the best treats you can use with a partner (or even just to amp up your solo playtime).

Adults need toys too. Have a little grown-up fun.


Linea Versa

Linea

This vibrator is ideal for couples in which one partner has a penis and one has a vagina. Each end of the toy does something different: The penetrative end can be inserted for internal vaginal vibrations, and the circular end can be used as a masturbation sleeve for penises. Couples can use the Versa at the same time. Simply place the circle around the penis as the lengthy end slides inside the vagina.

 

The (Hitachi) Magic Wand

Magic Wand

The Hitachi Magic Wand is referred to as the “Cadillac of vibrators” for a reason. It’s big, it’s powerful, and it’s reliable. Originally created to relax muscles, the wand quickly gathered a cult following as a vibrator for its undeniable ability to relax people (especially those with clits) in other ways. While the sex toy works wonders for solo play, it’s fun to use in a relationship to help a partner with a vagina reach orgasm during penetrative sex. For those into BDSM, the magic wand is often used by the dominant on the submissive partner to bring the sub to orgasm while they’re bound or tied up.

 

Chain Nipple Clamps

Nipple Clamps

Anyone with nipples can enjoy nipple clamps. While the toy can be used solo, experimenting with a partner can be especially fun if you’re exploring BDSM. The dominant partner (the one exerting control over the sex scene) will usually place the clamps on the submissive’s nipples. This pair in classic S&M black and red is useful for beginners, since they are adjustable. Begin by placing the clamps on the nipples with light pressure, and adjust the little screw as wanted to tighten for more intense sensations.

 

Beginner’s Butt Plug

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Butt plugs are a must-have for any couple interested in anal play, and they don’t have to be used solo: They can be worn during vaginal intercourse for dual-penetration with a partner. It’s important to start small, so this little guy is a perfect plug for beginners. Just don’t forget to use lube when inserting anal toys into your butt.

 

Clone-A-Willy In-Home Penis Molding Kit 

Clone a

If your partner has a penis, this aptly-named “Clone-A-Willy” lets you create a silicone mold of it — one that vibrates. Ideal for couples in long-distance relationships, the toy comes in a variety of skin tones, so you can get as realistic as you’d like. (You also have the option to make it neon pink and glow-in-the-dark, which…yes.) If creating a penis clone sounds daunting, fear not: According to customer reviews, the Clone-A-Willy comes with detailed and easy to follow instructions

 

Ours Fetish Kit

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If you’re curious about adding BDSM to your relationship, but unsure of where to start, this starter kit is just what you need. It contains wrist and ankle cuffs, a ball gag, a blindfold, nipple suckers, and a tickler for teasing. Just be sure to learn about some BDSM best practices, and then get ready to dip your toes into the world of kink.

 

Big O Multi-Stage Vibrating Penis Ring

Big O

This vibrating penis ring promises to keep you both stimulated and satisfied.

 

OhMiBod LoveLife & Share Vibrating Ring

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This snug vibrating ring is one you and your partner can enjoy together. Don’t let its compact size fool you — with seven different vibration settings, the Love Life vibrator packs enough energy for the both of you.

 

Entice Kegel Balls

Entice

This kegel bead set is here to turn up the heat on your foreplay sessions.

Inspired by Ben Wa balls, the Entice Kegel Balls is a set of two beads connected with a retrieval wire that promises to deliver some seriously unique pleasure. The inner balls are meant to respond to movement with subtle vibrations, making them perfect to use with a partner.

 

Lelo SIRI 2

Siri 2

The only thing better than a vibrator with eight different settings is a vibrator that vibrates to eight different settings, according to your music.

Lelo’s SIRI 2 works as a regular vibrator sans-music as well, but should you wish, you can also get creative and sync your music library to let it pulse to the beat of your any song you choose. Bonus: it also boasts Lelo’s “strongest vibrations ever,” and is 100% waterproof. Sure, you can use it solo, but letting your partner take the reins is half the fun.

 

We-Vibe 4 Plus

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This is the perfect couples’ sex toy — it was designed specifically to be used during intercourse. The U-shaped toy has one curved arm to stimulate the clit and another to rest in the vagina during intercourse — and it provides enough vibration and simulation for both partners.

Added bonus: It can be controlled by an app on your phone. This makes it pretty ideal for long-distance relationships (talk about taking sexting to another level), but that doesn’t mean couples who get tons of face-to-face time can’t enjoy it, too. You and your partner can download the free We-Vibe 4+ app and connect your toy to it by inputting the serial number. You can then invite each other to “connect” on the app and sync up. We’ll let you take it from there.

 

Liberator Heart Wedge
Heart Wedge

Yes, fine, it looks like a physical-therapy aid. But, the Liberator is a cult classic for very good reason. It’s an extremely firm and durable cushion that makes so many sex acts more comfortable (and those hard-to-reach spots very, very reachable).

Use it under your pelvis during oral sex. Try using it for elbow support during…anything that requires elbow support. There’s really nothing else like it for new or tricky positions. Sometimes, all you need is a little boost.

 

Soy Massage Candle

Massage candle

Scented candles are always a gamble. Will it be too strong, too sweet, too “sensual?” This line really gets it right — fragrant, but not overpowering.

But, the coolest thing about massage candles is their double duty. The oil melts at a lower temperature than wax, so you can pour or brush the melted candle directly onto skin without burning anybody.

 

JO Premium Silicone Lube

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A lot of people get weird about lube, frantically insisting, “I don’t need it!” as if human worth were judged by the ability to self-lubricate. The truth is, even if you don’t “need” lube, per se, it can make so many things so much more fun (and comfortable).

JO Premium, as the name suggests, is the ultimate. It’s silicone, meaning it’s hypoallergenic and will not be absorbed into your skin.

 

Sex Toys That Every Couple Should Try by Kelsey Miller was originally published on Refinery29, and amended to include items we at Body Candy love.


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4 Foreplay Tricks You Probably Haven’t Tried

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Foreplay doesn’t just help get you in the mood—it can also feel as good as or sometimes even better than sex.

Since everyone has different turn-ons, the best thing you can do is pay attention to what works for you and then try to recreate it, says Winter. Don’t be afraid to let your partner know when they do something that you like, either. They’ll probably be happy to keep doing whatever gets you going in the future…and they’ll definitely appreciate the positive feedback.

Don’t believe us? Then you probably haven’t tried these fun new ideas.

  1. Replay your best memories together.

If you want to get some of the passion you had early in your relationship back, one thing you can do is recreate your past, says sexologist Barbara Winter, Ph.D.

This can start before sex—for example, going to one of your old date-night spots or wearing the same clothes you wore during a hot moment at the beginning of your relationship. Then, later in the night, break out a move you used to do in bed that really turned you both on.

  1. Start off outside the bedroom.

If you want to make things more spontaneous, try initiating foreplay in the kitchen, office, garage, or anywhere else where you don’t typically do it, says sex and relationship coach Claudia Six, Ph.D.

You can either lead your partner to the bedroom afterward or just have sex right then and there. “It’s the unexpected that keeps things interesting,” she says.

  1. Watch porn together.

If you and your partner are both into porn or are at least intrigued by it, try checking it out together. Afterward, Winter recommends talking about what you each like and dislike and what you might want to try (or not). Sometimes, it opens you up to ideas you might not have thought of before, says Winter.

  1. Experiment with temperature.

Heat and cold can both add a lot to the sensations you’re already feeling. One way to play with temperature is to suck on ice cubes and lick each other’s erogenous zones. Or you can try dripping warm wax on each other’s bodies or using warming lube. Either tactic—or the two combined—should create “a delicious shiver,” says Six.

 

4 Foreplay Tricks You Probably Haven’t Tried by Suzannah Weiss was originally published on Glamour


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How Sex Toys Can Help You Play Nice With a Partner

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Picture it: You’re with a partner, it’s late at night and things are getting pretty hot. You’re kissing, you’re touching, you’re sizing each other up for the next move. So you decide to make one: You reach under the bed and pull out … your favorite sex toy.

Now here’s where things get interesting. Because while some people (both men and women) will jump at the chance to play with something new, others will, well, freak right out.

Men often worry that that big ‘ol purple dildo has appeared to replace them; women may feel embarrassed by those anal beads, or maybe just plain worried about where they’re gonna go (and how that’s going to feel).

Those feelings are common – and worth exploring – but they miss the point. Sex toys aren’t about replacing a partner or making them uncomfortable. They’re about fun! And they can be a lot of fun. The key is to apply the very same rules you’d apply to any other sex play. And by that we mean communication, consent and care.

Want to bring a little adventure into the bedroom? We talked to Charlie Glickman, a sexuality educator who’s teamed up with Violet Blue to present a new edition of her new book, “The Adventurous Couple’s Guide to Sex Toys.” Here are five things to know about playing nice – with toys!

They Aren’t a Substitute

You might use sex toys more often when you’re lonely or single, but even when you’re in a super-hot relationship, a little toy action on the side can be a beautiful thing. It’s a way to de-stress. It’s a way to learn. Heck, it’s a way to pass an otherwise uneventfull Saturday afternoon. What it isn’t is a replacement for a sexual relationship.

“One of the great things about sex toys is that they give you ways to create sensations that human bodies just don’t do. They’re not a substitute, just an add-on. Sex without a toy is fun and I’m not knocking it, but you can do things with a vibrator or dildo that human bodies don’t do. Toys just give you more possibilities,” Glickman said.

So rather than thinking of that vibrating dildo as your partner’s silicone stand-in, think of it as you would a blender: It can help make a great dish, but it doesn’t replace the cook!

They’re Nothing Special … but What You Do With Them Might Be

With the exception of a few toys designed specifically for couples, such as the We-Vibe, vibrating cock rings or a strap-on, many “couples'” toys are really just the same old sex toys you might use solo. What’s special about bringing a partner in on the action is that it might enable you to use the toy in new and different ways (we only have two hands of our own after all!).

You Have to Tread Lightly

If you want to use a toy with a partner but have never brought it up before, the time to do it is not in the heat of the moment. Seriously. While some people will see that introduction as super-sexy, it’ll make many other people cringe. Plus, it’s a bit of an ambush. Sex makes us vulnerable. Ambushing someone in a vulnerable position is, well, not very nice.

“I think you’re better off introducing the topic before you take your clothes off,” Glickman said. “That way if your partner says ‘tell me more,’ if they have question or feelings, you haven’t just dumped a cold pitcher of ice water on your sexy Saturday night. It’s better to introduce it rather than pull your vibrator out from under the bed. Because you might be surprised how someone reacts to that.”

If you want to play with toys, test the waters with your partner first – by talking it over.

You Have to Experiment

Sex toy retailers tend to bombard people with sensory adjectives. It’s called marketing, and while Glickman says it generally isn’t inaccurate, it tends to lead to one very inaccurate assumption: That all those words will describe your experience with a toy. You know what they say: One person’s leg-shaking orgasm might be another person’s onerous and unsuccessful attempt at sexual stimuation. That’s just the way it is with sex toys because our bodies are so different.

“Nothing works the same for everybody,” Glickman said. “If a toy really isn’t any good, they’ll stop manufacturing it very quickly. So, if you’ve seen a toy around for a while, chances are it works for a lot of people.”

Of course that still doesn’t mean it’ll work for you. In order to find that out, you’ll have to try it … and possibly practice a little at using it.

“Sometimes a toy works and sometimes it doesn’t, but try it again another day,” Glickman said. “You might need to try something a couple of times to figure out how to make it work for you.”

And don’t assume that bigger or harder or stronger is better. What’s better is what feels best to you. Find out what that is, and branch out from there.

Toys Widen Your Sexual Repertoire

“Sex is a lot like food,” Glickman says. “You never know what you’re going to like until you try it. So sometimes it pays to be a little adventurous.”

Sex toys are a great way to bring a little adventure into the bedroom, to experiment with new experiences and to share them with your partner. Plus, having a few around can really expand what’s on the menu – and that means you and your partner are more likely to leave the table feeling satisfied.

How Sex Toys Can Help You Play Nice With a Partner was originally published on Kinkly.


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A Few Tips for Great Morning Sex

morning-sex

Sex is one of the greatest things in existence. So it makes sense that one of the best ways to start off a day is with, well, sex.

Morning sex can help set a very positive tone for the rest of your day, and it’ll have you thinking about your partner throughout—so by the time you’re both home for the night, it’s likely you’ll be ready to jump each other again.

Here are a few suggestions to make the most out of your next morning sex session.

Take your time

Morning sex can be rushed. You’re not likely building it into your schedule, which means when the alarm goes off, you have a very limited amount of time to get things done before you rush out your door. A quickie is great, but even a quickie can be done without rushing. Make sure that when you have sex, you’re in the moment and it’s the only thing you’re paying attention to or thinking about.

Don’t let your breath deter you

People tend to worry about their morning breath when it comes to morning sex, but it’s an overstated worry. You know what’s worse than having sex with someone who has morning breath? Not having sex.

And morning sex doesn’t have to occur immediately upon waking. If you want to get a little bit into it and then go brush your teeth, go for it and get back after it.

You can also always keep some breath mints on your nightstand. For efficiency.

Get things going with a Z-Job

Surprise morning sex is amazing. If you wake up in the mood, one excellent way to surprise your partner is by going down on them while they’re still asleep. Can you imagine a better way to wake up in the morning? It beats the annoying, awful sound of an alarm clock, that’s for sure.

Shower together

If you finish in the bedroom, a morning shower together is an excellent way to literally bathe in the afterglow of the sex you’ve just had. And if you’re especially short on time, you can always complete the act in the shower before you soap each other off in lieu of a post-morning-sex cuddling session.

A Few Tips for Great Morning Sex was originally posted on The Nightstand.


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A Guide to Shower Sex

shower

I found this gem on the System JO blog, and thought it had some great tips and ideas. Plus, they go along well with our Sex In The Shower items, don’t you think?

The guided tour of shower sex is necessary in life because we all know how quickly something crazy hot can become tricky and even possibly awkward.

Wet surfaces do not provide traction and small space constraints lead to limited movement opportunities. The argument in favor of shower sex stands on slippery ground, with the many pitfalls ranging from falling sprays of water (in your eyes, up your nose) to actually falling on the floor. The key to sexy time is avoiding a situation requiring medical attention.

Steamy shower sex does sound extremely fun and spontaneous, evoking romantic images of erotic stroking and satisfying each other amidst the warm mist. You just jump on into the tub. No, okay, climb in carefully, but, ya know, sexy carefully. Now pull the shower curtain into place (remembering it is NOT a solid surface to be used as a gripping tool later) and adjust the showerhead so that it doesn’t hit either of you directly in the face. Whew, initial bullets dodged.

You start touching the other person’s soapy, wet, naked body…and…hmmm, now what? Turn around? Flatten your body against cold tiles? Hold on to what exactly for leverage…each other? Ow! An elbow in the face! (The Locking Suction Handle can help out with this!) Ugh! Where does my foot go?  (This is where the Foot Rest comes in handy!) The reality is that sex in the shower is often a complicated balancing act between partners who are willing to work for great, wet sex.

One of you is in the direct line of warm water, while the other is left out in the cold. Or maybe you are those lucky people who have a dual showerhead, waterfall rain showers everywhere. If not, remember to rotate! Trading places allows for a reduction in the amount of shivering skin time.

Also, this is not the moment for an epic display. Limit the minutes allotted for shower sex – wrinkled fingertips feel like being petted with dried fruit, a sure sign that you have stayed at too long at the party.

Logistical issues aside, sex in the shower breeds intimacy and orgasms, so it’s obviously a worthwhile effort. Just don’t forget that stability is what you want most in the chosen position! Feet planted firmly on the ground for both participants, doggy style gets our safest of the shower sex positions rating. You can use the high ground, palms placed flat against the wall, or face downwards and use hands to hold on to the edges of the tub. If you don’t have an old school tub-style shower, hold on to the hips in front of you for better support.

Facing each other is nice too, so try holding on to one knee with either your hand, or just balance in the crook of your elbow. You can also wrap one leg around the waist, and if superhero strength is at play, wrap both those legs around and prepare for some serious splashing. Do not use the edge of the tub for leverage! It will be slick and unreliable. Do not lean against a glass shower door! It can easily give way with applied human pressure. Lastly, do not feel confident that the ceramic soap dish jutting out of the wall can handle any weight beyond that of soap.

A final note is that water washes away both natural and certain synthetic lubrication, so you may want to switch over to silicone as opposed to water-based formulas. Condoms do not work so well in the water either, they tend to slip and slide…so prep in advance for contraception needs.


 

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Here’s How Long Sex Lasts Around the World

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Some fun, international facts, as shared by Glamour Smitten

Have you ever wondered whether the amount of time you spend having sex is normal? It might seem impossible to know how long exactly other people are spending on sex, since it’s not like couples take stopwatches into the bedroom. But, for one study, couples did just that.

According to an article in The Conversation by Brendan Zietsch, Ph.D., a research fellow at the University of Queensland, the best study we have to date of the time it takes to have sex involved 500 couples in five different countries timing themselves with stopwatches.

It turns out the average time it takes to have sex—not including foreplay, but just measuring the time from insertion to ejaculation—is 5.4 minutes on average in the Netherlands, United Kingdom, Spain, Turkey, and the United States. The Turkish had less endurance than the rest of the world, with a 3.7-minute average, while the rest were in the six to seven-minute range. Younger men lasted longer, with an average of 6.5 minutes for 18-to-30-year-olds (men 51 and older lasted 4.3 minutes).

Contrary to what some may say about the desensitizing effects of condoms, they didn’t have an impact on how long sex lasted. Circumcision didn’t have an influence either, with a pretty non-significant difference of six minutes for uncircumcised men and 6.7 for circumcised ones.

Of course these are averages—plenty of people around the world are having longer and shorter bedroom romps. But, if you’ve been wondering if your six-minute sack sessions are the norm, know this: They totally are.

How To Orgasm With A Partner (Because Sex Can Be Complicated)

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This was originally posted on Bustle, and I liked most of the info included. As usual, I added my own spin on some things, and included links to products I think you’ll like.


 

For a lot of women, the question of whether they’ll be able to have an orgasm during sex is fraught with anxiety. We’re taught from a young age — both on TV and movies, as well as and in porn — that our pleasure will come from a male partner who will put his magic penis inside of us, and we’ll be able to come without any foreplay or clitoral stimulation at all.

Talk about total crap, am I right?

But why would anyone think differently about our orgasms? We don’t talk about self-pleasure with our friends, and we really don’t get any guidance around getting off from adults either. Is it any wonder that only a third of women regularly experience an orgasm during intercourse, and that as many as 10 percent might not even orgasm at all?

However, more and more women are discovering how to orgasm on their own. Our culture is shifting in a positive direction, so that adult women, at least, are feeling empowered to take their orgasms into their own hands. We’ve got sex-positive, female-run sex shops like ours. A million different types of toys exist to help us get there, many of which are designed by and for women (like the Rave by We-Vibe or a simple bullet-style vibe like Vooom!). And we have sites that are yelling to the mountaintops about sex-positivity and pleasure. We still have a long way to go, but it’s hard to deny that we’re entering a golden age of female pleasure.

But how do you translate that solo orgasm into a partnered orgasm? This is the spot where a lot of women get stuck. Suddenly there’s another person involved in the process, and things get a whole lot more complicated than when it was just you and your vibe at home. Maybe you’re shy about speaking up for yourself or you’re not sure if they’ll be down to do what you need done. Whatever the reason, here are nine tips to help you make sure you come, too.

 

  1. Don’t Be Scared To Fantasize

When you’re enjoying self-pleasure, you’re probably watching or reading something that turns you on, or at least thinking about something sexy. There’s no reason you can’t do that with a partner as well. The key to this one is to try different stimuli during your alone time. You’ll stumble onto something that consistently works and that’s the fantasy you should turn to when you’re having trouble getting into it or you just can’t come.

  1. Be Willing To Focus On Your Own Pleasure

Women are conditioned to be more concerned about the needs of others — especially men — than our own needs. (Thanks, patriarchy!)

But a lot of us need some very specific touch, thoughts, words, or whatever, to get off. Dan Savage is fond of saying that if a man needed a canoe and a nun in the room in order to have an orgasm, you can bet they would be there even during a one-night stand. Figure out what your nun and canoe are, and insist on them! If you need direct clitoral stimulation (as most of do), then ask your partner to stimulate it or stimulate it yourself!

Your pleasure is as important as the pleasure of the person you’re with and you’re the only one who is in charge of it. Do you, boo.

  1. Have Your Partner Watch

If your partner just isn’t hitting the right spots, have them watch while you get yourself off. They can masturbate too while you’re doing it, because, well, who wouldn’t find that hot? They’ll learn exactly what kind of touch works for you and what doesn’t because they’ll actually see it.

  1. Self-Stimulate

On a similar note, don’t be scared to self-stimulate during partnered sex. As I mentioned above, most women need direct clitoral stimulation in order to get off — penis in the vagina alone (for those of you doing it with dudes) just doesn’t cut it for most of us. Reach down there and give yourself a little boost!

  1. Do It Sober

Having drunk sex can dull your nerves and your connection with your body. If you find you’re always banging under the influence, consider switching it up and going at it sober sometime. This is a double-edged sword, of course, because one of the reasons we drink is to get rid of inhibitions, and fewer inhibitions often translates to being more willing to have sex. However, if your goal is orgasming, and drunk sex is not ending in orgasm, then sobering up could seriously be your solution.

  1. Do It Tipsy

On the other hand, if you’re having trouble letting go of your inhibitions, and that’s keeping you from orgasm, have a couple glasses of wine! Don’t get blotto drunk (because: see above), but a drink or two will get your blood flowing, and might help lower your inhibitions to the point where you’re able to let go enough to get there.

  1. Do What Works

A lot of women have one position that works for them. Don’t be scared to do it, even if it means you always end in that position! If it works, it works, and your partner should be down with a little repetition if it means you end with big O.

  1. Turn Off The Lights

Some women are self-conscious about their bodies, and find that their worries about how they look are keeping them from being in the moment. (Thanks again, patriarchy!)

A great solution for this problem in the short term is to turn off the lights! It also heightens your other senses, so even if you’re totally cool with how your naked body looks, it can be great way to up sensation.

In the long term, though, it’s time to get body-positive.

  1. Let Go

Sometimes it takes a mantra in your head: Let go, let go, let go. Give yourself permission, and you’ll get there.


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Did you find yourself fantasizing or flexing your pelvic orgasm muscle as you learned about the ideas mentioned above? No time like the present!

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